Overcoming ego

"As long as the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease; you cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled. Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external... Continue Reading →

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Truckies

It's been a very long hard day and I'm very tired but I'm also very happy. I had a great time at the truckie's reunion tonight. All I was doing was walking around with drinks and platters of food but I felt so useful and grovelly. It was really fun! After it finished we went... Continue Reading →

Tossing and turning

I didn't sleep well last night for a couple of reasons-one, was I seem to have had an allergic reaction from the sugaring and have a very uncomfortable burning sensation accompanied by a lovely fiery red rash (although why I would I have no idea) so I've been putting shea butter on it and hoping... Continue Reading →

Pussy scratchings

Lying in bed this morning at 2.am I was thinking a lot of things. I'd had a chat the night before about not feeling 'slavish' (which really does sound like a nationality in some obscure part of Russia). She had assured me that it was normal not to really feel submissive all the time and... Continue Reading →

Moody monday

I've guess I've always had people walk over me and take advantage of me. I'm the sort of person who still keeps working even when the boss isn't looking and who stays until the job is done. I've always felt that if something has to be done you might as well do it well. I... Continue Reading →

Sundaes and banana splits

Anal is one of my favourite topics, obviously because it pops up as often as whipping and caning does-I was discussing it in alt.com and we decided that once you get a 'taste' for it vaginal sex alone just doesn't seem to cut it anymore! Bizarre....the power of the mind. I honestly and truly cannot... Continue Reading →

Butt they’re pictures!

Well, I can definitely say that having pictures of one's butt taken and posted on your profile is an experience. For a couple of days it made me cringe everytime I opened alt. but now I've got this bizarre pride thing happening. There is definitely a bit of disassociation occuring because when I look at... Continue Reading →

Dominatrix

One of my favourite series of books is by Terry Goodkind, and the first in the series 'A Wizard's First Rule' centers on Richard, the protagonist, who gets captured by Denna, a Mord Sith, who is what we would call a Domme. She captures his magic and then proceeds to train him in order to... Continue Reading →

The countdown

Well, last day of my 2 days off and I'm starting down the countdown to the end...9hrs and counting until Friday. I've spent most of the last two days in this bizarre little haze-a mixture of too much sleep and post-whipping/caning bliss. Actually I've also got this other strange feeling that I can't quite put... Continue Reading →

‘o’ boy!

I woke up this morning and decided to take an exploratory look in the mirror at my butt. I have to say it was shocking-it looks much worse than it feels. I'd read somewhere that kneeling over to have a whipping or a caning is one of the most 'delicious' positions because your butt is... Continue Reading →

The official ‘o’ day

Tuesday the 16th August is from now on going to be called 'O Day'. A fairly important day in my life as a slave and one that I'll probably look back on and smile about. It was really the first day that Master left lasting marks on me and really 'hurt' me. It's a very... Continue Reading →

Insecurity

Okay, now this is a pretty major topic for me-insecurity. There. I've said it. I'm completely and utterly lacking confidence in my role as a slave. This is not a very promising start to a journal entry but it's one of my hang ups and I've got to talk about it at some stage. I... Continue Reading →

Resistance is futile

I think my boss sees in me someone who is going to give him the least resistance and that is why he picks on me. The scary thing about me is that I take it! This is why I have been having second thought about me being an alpha sub. I have a terrible feeling... Continue Reading →

Hot and cold

Thinking back over what happened last night (of which I was subtly reminded this morning when I was riding my bike to work), I realized that there were a couple of things that stood out. One moment in particular was when I heard the 'jingle jangle' of Master's belt! For a moment there I thought... Continue Reading →

Addicted to…

I spent the day in a euphoric haze because I had a feeling that today was going to be 'the day'. There was a whipping in the air, so I waited and walked around with a little (i.e. huge and beaming!) smile on my face knowing what was going to come. It is the funniest... Continue Reading →

Spotting a submissive

(This is a very old blog and now I'm much older and wiser. You should really read this┬áblog┬áto see how I feel about this topic now.) How does one spot a submissive? I don't think you can tell by looks alone, but there are certain characteristics that I think are common to subs and when... Continue Reading →

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