“As long as the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease; you cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled. Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external things. It needs to be fed constantly. The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief system, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective identifications. None of these is you.”
My sister actually reminded me about this the other day when we were chatting and I thought I should look a little bit more into it. I’ve come to the conclusion that to be a ‘good’ sub you’ve got to overcome your ego. By ego I am referring to the sense of sense and individuality that sets you apart from others, as well as pride. I think there is a loss of self in the sense that everything I am belongs not to me, but to Master and so I become a ‘part’ of Master more so than my own separate individual self.
I had a discussion with bell from alt about it and her ideas were also very interesting:
‘i think submission is an interesting take on ego. i don’t know that we lose that sense of self, only that its a very different from what “society” expects us to feel as sense of self. i guess when owned we are no long a “separate” entity, our sense of self *comes* from losing our separateness and distinct self .. in some ways, but in other that giving up IS our self’
By giving up our ‘ego’ we truly become who we are.
Freud said that ego=fear and the opposite of fear is love. So theoretically by embracing love we can overcome ego. So many subs talk about falling in love with their Doms and perhaps this is why. By losing our egos we are naturally filled with love….If only there were more subs in the world 🙂