(This is a very old blog and now I’m much older and wiser. You should really read this blog to see how I feel about this topic now.)
How does one spot a submissive? I don’t think you can tell by looks alone, but there are certain characteristics that I think are common to subs and when I think about why I like being a submissive many of the characteristics come to mind:
1. Femininity- this includes dressing like a woman-lots of skirts and lace and pastels and white. It’s about dressing like a woman and being pleasing in appearance. This is at the heart of all subs and even though they may dress in lots of black and leather (^V^) there is always a girl in a pink dress inside screaming to come out.
2. Vulnerability- a lot of women like to show their muscle and prove that they can do it just as well as the men, but the ‘damsel in distress’ routine attracts more men than anything. Women who are small, weak and look like they need protecting are just crying out “I’m a sub, take care of me!”
3. Obedience- subs are inherently obedient and will sacrifice anything to get what is asked of them done. They do what they are told with little fuss and often without question. Although they may be screaming ‘why the hell am I doing this?’ inside, on the outside they will be a picture of calm.
4. Open to suggestion- this is also sometimes described as ‘being easily lead’. It differs from obedience in that their ideas, thoughts or wishes/needs can be easily influenced and often changes by external information. On one hand, this means that they are flexible and adaptable, but on the other hand it means they are easily tricked and taken advantage of
5. Lacking confidence- subs by nature are very insecure, easily hurt individuals. They have issues with their lives, finding them meaningless or unsatisfying but they often lack the courage to improve their situations. Subs thrive on praise or affirmations that their decisions were good, what they did was the ‘right’ things. It is that mental support that they thrive on. Some people describe a dom as a crutch for the sub and although the imagery is not the best, it is probably a very accurate description.
6. The desire to please through submission- this is where I feel that the difference between a sub and a slave arises. A sub loves the pleasure the dom gets from their submission, but a slave simply loves pleasing in any state or form. Service, or doing things for the dom is the greatest source of pleasure, while serving others is a minor source of pleasure.