The reverse half-twist

“Haven’t you figured it out yet? Your use is going to be so much more than what you desire.”

This statement of Master’s has been buzzing around my head for the past couple of days. It presents a triad of paradoxes- my wants versus my needs versus my reality.

He is slowly breaking me down. I can feel it. He is trying to make me need more than I want and turning my reality into something more than I need or want. He is turning my reality into something that he wants.

It’s interesting. He plants seeds and waits until the vines of ideas grown and I entwine myself. Take for example the party on the weekend. All week long he had been promising me this, telling me that, until I wasn’t quite sure whether I was going to be taken to the party naked or stripped then and there and beaten to a pulp. Come the night of the party and he was letting me chose my own outfit and was ready to walk out the door without an implement of torture in sight.

Not too long ago I would have waltzed out the door in sweatpants with the only thing in my hand being the plate of ‘oovie doovies’ to add to the feast. Instead, here I was getting dressed in a breast harness and a teensy little skirt with nothing underneath, and making running up behind him making suggestions along the lines of  “How about we take Mr. Strap?” In hindsight, it’s really quite scary. He’s helping to entrap me and I’m devoting myself to spinning the web.

Mixed in amongst my conversation with my mother on Sunday, was talk of whether she used to smack me or not. All of my childhood memories of my mother are a bit hazy. I remember her doing a lot of screaming and crying and storming this way and that, but I don’t actually remember the ‘discipline’ side of things, so I asked.

“Yes, I smacked you once I remember. I don’t know what it was about, but you dug your heels in and wouldn’t budge. You were biting on your bottom lip and giving me that look. I don’t think it would have mattered how hard I had smacked you. You were still going to do what you wanted to do.”

When I get an idea in my mind, nothing on earth will budge me. Apparently I’ve been like that since a very young age. I think Master knows this and is using the ‘reverse-psychology’ thing on me. I wonder what he’s going to do now that I know what he’s up to (^v^)

 

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2 thoughts on “The reverse half-twist

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  1. Reverse Half-Twist

    “Not too long ago I would have waltzed out the door in sweatpants with the only thing in my hand being the plate of ‘oovie doovies’ to add to the feast. Instead, here I was getting dressed in a breast harness and a teensy little skirt with nothing underneath, and making running up behind him making suggestions along the lines of “How about we take Mr. Strap?”

    i’m the same way. There was a time that jeans, a t-shirt and sunglasses were appropriate for any event. Now, i run around like crazy fixing my hair, doing my make-up, trying on outfit after outfit to try and find something He will like. It’s maddening and comforting all at the same time. Funny how they mess with our heads.

  2. Breaking you down or moulding you into the sort of slave l desire

    Every relationship involves some fine tuning of the people in that relationship, you try to influence me in the ways you want to be owned, you flutter your eyes for what you want.

    The difference is l own you, l control you, you do what l want, you will become what l want because that is what you want.

    Your a slave that requires control, obedience and use maybe not in that order all the time, but you’ve been looking for someone to take control of you, to be stronger than you, to be able to make you bend to their will and way.

    Your a slave that needs to know that despite your eye fluttering, your whining, your crying at the end of the day what has been said will be done and you have no choice or option to do as you have been bidded.

    Your collar, your piercings, your tattoo, the removal of your name, the , removing your right to relax without my permission, wearing of slut wear, making you address me as Master at all times are part of process to imprint your slavery on your mind and soul.

    You are a slave, l am but your current owner, you will remain a slave for that is what you are

    Master

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