Masters are from Venus and subbies are from Mars.

I think I need to post just to get those damn ugly pics a little bit further down the page!

For the past couple of days I’ve been feeling like I need to be used- and used hard. It’s one of those times that comes every now and then, when the need for some stimulation and sensation outweighs the fear of what else it will bring.

I describe myself as a sensation junkie. I like to feel different things and meet the little challenges that are put before me. With Master, pain generally only comes at one level-high. For this reason, it was quite interesting to be spanked by someone else, just to see what other levels are available on the pain dial. He said to me later that he was sitting there watching our mystery shopper do his thing with ‘Hit her harder, for fucks sake!’ screaming through his brain. Lol…

Boots are Master’s thing and bondage is mine. I like bondage to be tight and constricting-that’s why it’s called bondage after all, and not ‘Fun with rope and chains’. Rope marks so deep you can see the different twines, creases left by leather belts with raised bumps where the belt holes were…mmm….thinking about it is enough to make me juicy.

The lack of two things is guaranteed to make me stir-crazy: (1) a lack of release and/or (2) a lack of bondage. I can only go so long until I start looking longingly at scarves and belts and things that my twisted little mind sees the bondage potential in. I batted my eyelids at Master on Sunday and again last night hoping that telepathically I could transfer my desperate little plea, 

‘Tie me the fuck up!’

I can’t ask to be tied up. That destroys the whole fantasy thing. I can’t be tied up so I can undo myself either. Whoever heard of a damsel in distress held prisoner in the dungeon with the door left open and cuffs she can slip out of?? 

I’ve tried to communicate with Master my feelings about bondage in terms he will understand;

“You know how flat boots with no heels don’t do it for you?”


“And you know how short little ankle boots do nothing for you either?”


“Well, boots for you have to be a special type. They have to be long, preferably over the knee, with high stiletto heels and smelling of leather. Any old boots just won’t do it for you, right?”


‘Well, that’s like me and bondage.”

“What are you getting at?”

It’s at this point that I’d love to beable to say:

“I like it to be real. If I just wanted to tie myself up, I could. It’s only when you’re with another person that you can really do bondage- unless of course you want to get tricky with keys in ice cubes and stuff. I’ve been tying myself up since I was  about 8 years old. For 22 years I’ve been waiting for someone to share my secret with and tie me up nice and tight.”

But what I really say is something along the lines of:

“”Nothing much, it’s ok. What do you want for lunch?”

I don’t want to stand there and tell him what I want. I want him to want to do what I want without me saying it…lol. This is the crazy shit that men say women go on with. I was watching “The Break Up” on the weekend and the bit where they have a huge fight over washing the dishes resonated with me. The issue was that the woman wanted the man to want to do the dishes and not just do them just because she told him to. I pointed this out to Master as the ‘eternal lack of understanding between men and women’.

In D/s you’ve still got to deal with all the man/woman shit too. Now I know why there are so many masochists among us…lol


10 thoughts on “Masters are from Venus and subbies are from Mars.

Add yours

  1. Just tell him, sweetie. It will still be his decision whether you get what you want or not. He will only do it if he wants to do it. Even in D/s, we’ve still got to keep the communication lines open – more than in the vanilla world i think. One of the things i love about D/s & bdsm is that once you’ve dipped your toe in, you’ve opened up a whole new universe, where you don’t have to be ashamed of the things you want and need. You’re free to express all your deepest, darkest desires and secrets. And it’s up to him as to how much he gives you.

  2. i know exactly what you are saying. It really does ruin the mindfuck of the moment if you had to tell them to do it. Then the whole time in the back of your mind you wonder if they even like it or are they just humoring you. You want Him to crave having you helpless and bound and totally at his mercy. Yes, i know what you are saying. Been there, done that.

    i hope your needs are met soon.


  3. The big bang

    What starts it all? I noticed you mentioned tying yourself up from a young age. I too started that way. Over the course of time in my life I have found a great many people interested in bondage at some level or another. I eventually married a beautiful woman, my partner in life, but even she doesn’t have the love of those moments of tightness when you can’t escape. The feeling of wanting to be captive that is so real. Growing up I have become less comfortable with being tied up. I think perhaps it is in response to finding so many woman were more into being submissive. Some were down right terrified of the notion of a man who wanted to be tied and yet NOT submissive. In some way role playing being caught. I digress, even though I now enjoy being the captor more than the captive now I still think alot, I question why has the rope, the gag, bondage in general been such a fascination since early childhood for me? Any insight you can offer would be appreciated.

  4. Re: The big bang

    I am not all that sabby when it comes to the internet. Come to think of it I lose finesse with all things mechanical and technical. So when I clicked around and found a profile page on you it was a pleasant surprise. I thought “Cool, another person who uses time on WOW as a carrot on a stick to get a handle on the menial unpleasantries!” Just curious… ever heard of the Gothique Sisterhood?
    Anyhow, how is the topic that I inspired going? I am really can’t wait to read your feelings on this. I at times wonder where I missed the boat. I used to believe that a sub/dom relationship would have been what I wanted. On the otherhand I am not sure that I have ever had a model to look at when it comes to this. For all I know, I could be living in a perfect Sub/Dom marriage. Neither my wife nor I am big on cleaning. She tends to do it more only because I am not home as much and so am less affected when the mess becomes unbearable. However, I know that I am often the decision maker, the provider of security. And, she knows without a doubt that I cherish and adore her. On one occassion she has seen that I would fight to protect her and she is certain I would do more if it came to it. I’m not sure why that pleases her but it does. She also knows that I all my emotions for her are kept in check to the point where I am not a jealous maniac. Yet, the bondage if infrequent (or at least less frequent than I would like) and I am at her mercy with how far we go with this and what she will wear etc. I don’t argue any of these issues because… Well I don’t want to upset what we have. Much the same way you wish to be possessed, I wish to not force my ownership upon her. Yet I can’t help wondering if there was some way I could present the idea of “ownership to her” without offending her values?

  5. Re: The big bang

    OMG…I need a riding crop to get me going faster on the menial tasks (I have the mats, anyone want to make me one? Lol…)

    No, I haven’t heard of the Gothique Sisterhood-am I missing out on something?

    As far as the blog topic goes, I’ve kind of worked it into several of my most recent blogs. It’s an on-going topic I’m exploring.

    The idea of being ‘owned’ is probably enough to make some women want to run for the hills. It carries connotations of being degrading and therefore somehow sub-human. Unless you think of it in terms of the ‘ultimate security and strongest bond’ as I do, then it’s hard to accept it.

    I’m assuming your wife participates in bondage etc. mostly to ‘humour’ you? Is that a correct assumption? While most women love a stronger ‘protective’ man, unfortunately it doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to be dominated by one or submitted to. It is something that you either like or don’t like and as you say, you don’t want to upset her and force your ideas on her.

    I left my marriage because I didn’t feel that my husband was that way inclined and never would be. That was the only way I could see me having my needs met. Of course, I wouldn’t recommend anything drastic like that–maybe a good long chat with her is in order?


  6. Re: The big bang

    First off, if you have the mats I would love to make it.. LW is a bitch to get up!!! LOL.

    Secondly, Gothique Sisterhood is a guild (hopefully it still exists) on the role playing server Argent Dawn. They support Sub?dom lifestyle in roleplay. You may find it a giggle.

    You know as she reads this over my shoulder she is silent on the matter. Which is pretty usual unless I prod the subject. Yes, I think she participates mostly to humor me. She DOES enjoy it at times but I suspect if I never asked again she’d be fine. I appreciate your suggestion about chatting. Particularly since we plan to be together for the rest of our lives. She and I are the best of friends, lovers and thick as thieves.

    Lastly, where is the blog where you responded to “The Big Bang”?

    And lest I forget, I thank you very much for your thoughts on these matters.

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