My censored life

Sometime back in July while I was home for holidays, I received an e-mail from the foundation that gave me a scholarship for my undergraduate degree in Japan. They were publishing their annual magazine and wanted me to write an essay about what I’d done since leaving uni. It was to go in the section “Illustrious OGs and OBs (old girls and old boys)”.

Seeing that this scholarship provided me with about $30,000 of fees for 3 years of my four-year degree and that I wouldn’t have made it through uni without it, I thought I’d better write a damn good essay, but my problem was, how would I explain why I left Japan and what I’ve done since then? I didn’t think that “seeing the bdsm light” or “currently revelling in her slavery” were phrases that should appear in a document set for “illustrious” purposes…lol.

After delaying the thing for as long as possible,  I finally sat down on Tuesday night and started writing my story for the past 12 years. I’d post it here, but it was all in Japanese, so in a nutshell it covered my journey to Japan (fresh out of high school and my first time on a big plane!), my struggles with learning Japanese (never-ending!), my employment after graduating, the move back to Australia and my current studies.

In the re-counting I ‘neglected’ to mention my marriage, my divorce, my reasons for returning to Australia and anything even slightly connected to the Three C’s (collars, cunt rings and canes). It was a 100% ‘nilla version of my life and I have to say that it didn’t sound even half as interesting as the real thing. While I was re-reading it, I was struck by just how unremarkable my life is/has been if you ignore the whole D/s aspect of it. The Three C’s and everything that goes with it is what has really brought the colour into my gray existence.

I titled my essay “The Value of Life” and started out with a quote by Montaigne, from “Essays”:

The value of life lies, not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them; a man may live long, yet live very little. Satisfaction in life depends not on the number of your years, but on your will.


In the vanilla version, I said that all my experiences and the people that I had met, had enabled me to have satisfaction in my life. If I transferred that over to the more colourful version of my life, I’d say that  “use” is an integral part of my satisfaction in life (^v^)

I think that D/s has allowed me to live a lot more in a shorter period of time. The experiences have enriched me and hopefully, there will be many more to come; after all,  if there’s a will, there should be a way.


4 thoughts on “My censored life

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  1. I think that D/s has allowed me to live a lot more in a shorter period of time. The experiences have enriched me and hopefully, there will be many more to come; after all, if there’s a will, there should be a way.

    and those who have no clue, proclaim that what we do is not good for us….

  2. Wonderful. And absolutely true. In spite of having been married, had three kids, been divorced and a myriad of other life events, I didn’t really start living until I found the Wide World of Perversion.

    It is too bad we can’t present that as just as much of an accomplishment to folks as we present everything else.

  3. the togetherness of slavery

    if there is a will there must be a way

    but whose will “mine” or “yours” or “ours”

    l see you use the three “C’s” collars, cunt rings and cane, all mine but used and placed on you.

    I find it interesting how its interwined your my slave but you chose to be that slave

    I decide what happens but you agree by your compliance

    So will is a joint thing

    Will have to ensure you live a satisfactory and rewarding life then, more caning, more mystery shoppers, more boots more hot towellings

    I wondered when you would revert back to slavery is all about me


  4. I’d think a Japanese reader would appreciate a description of finding a “balanced and harmonius inner life” without having to know that it’s a power exchange-based life.

    I sympathize with trying to sum up only part of your life….my resume would look a lot more impressive if I could list my Engineering patents along side my SIGNY award for best rigger 🙂

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