I have been known to watch porn from time to time and something strikes me odd about it – is it just me, or is everyone in bdsm porn obsessed with making the woman orgasm?
Now, I have to state that there are only a few porn sites that I frequent ,and all of them except one are produced by the lovely folk over at Kink.com so perhaps it is their kink to focus on getting the woman off and not a characteristic of porn in general, but I do find it curious as to why the big focus on the big ‘o’.
I’m O-challenged, always have been and quite possibly always will be (although I hate to admit the fact that I may never be able to have an ‘o’ provided by someone else, the prospects seem to be quite grim.) But I watch the reactions of these women in the clips, the reactions I believe to be real that is…lol…and I can see a lot of things that I feel too- the twitching, the over-sensitivity of pink bits, the amazing need for the sensation to stop or change or do something!
Being stimulated by others, clitoral stimulation that is, gives me a sensation akin to being tickled. It’s not quite like that, but it’s as close to it as I can explain. It feels both good and bad and it feels very different to when I ‘release’. I call it a release because it is exactly that-there’s a build up of pressure and then a nice release. Now I’m not quite sure if I need to just ‘endure’ through the ticklish stage of clitoral stimulation and that somehow I will arrive at the same destination as when I release, or if something else needs to be done, but generally what happens is that the ‘ticklishness’ just reaches a point and I either (a) start to get sore or (b) need to pee. That’s it. There’s no satisfying release, no peaking climax like I have when I see to my own needs and it kind of feels likes I’ve only half scratched an itch or eaten half a piece of chocolate. It makes me want to scream, “Is that it???” out to the universe.
Our mystery shopper the other week seemed very intent on getting me to orgasm. As it was, he spent over a good solid hour doing things to my clit, cunt and bum that probably would have seen any other woman cum. All I had was my usual ticklish sensation then I started to get sore and then my mind started wandering. He seemed frustrated and I was too. I felt kind of sorry and guilty for not being able to come through with some cumming for him. I guess I equate being able to cum when required as a characteristic of a ‘good slave’. The pleaser gene in me wants to be able to do that sort of thing for those who use me.
But back to my original topic. Why is being able to make a woman orgasm such a turn on for so many? From my point of view, I just want to be used as an object. I don’t feel a need to orgasm for my own pleasure in play situations and I don’t expect a guy to be able to give me one in order for me to feel fulfilled. In fact, I get highly stressed if I know that the other person is focusing on me and my pleasure where sex is concerned. But increasingly I’m seeing porn and reading blogs where it’s all about getting the woman to orgasm as many times as possible. Is that the new yardstick of a domly one?
Yes, I’m pleased when Master gets off. I feel good because I’ve served a purpose and given him pleasure. I don’t expect anything in return though because the act of being used is what I get off on, not getting off for getting off’s sake. I’m sure there is an element of control and power involved in being able to make a woman cum, but is that what is behind the big ‘o’ being all the rage?