As part of our one-year anniversary celebration the other week, Master let me shove things up his bum.
So in one of my bizzaro-est moments in my life to date, I lubed up the thin purple vibe and inserted it delicately into Master’s poo jew tunnel.
His first reaction?
“Is the fucking thing on?”
Now that is a question I often want to ask in relation to vibrators, and ranks right up there alongside “Is it in?” , “Am I supposed to be enjoying this?” and “Can I go and pee?” (Let me just add here that in Master’s collection we also have the Goddess of all vibrators, The Hitachi Wand, but on me it does zip, bupkis, nada. I might as well be trimming my cuticles for all the entertainment value it has.)
I moved the mini Mr. Purple in and out and around the dark passage for good measure all the while having the strongest “Wtf am I doing????” moments. By this time, Master was ready for bigger and wider things and so I lubed up Mr. Purple and attempted insertion.
Mr. Purple requires a lot of relaxation and quite a good deal of gentle coaxing on the sphincter to insert and for Master, a novice to butt plugs, it was not to be.
“Maybe next year”, we both said and cleaned him up and went back to living life.
Now, the glaring question is why the fuck was I doing this?
In the heat of the moment, I have been known to say to Master, “How about we shove Mr. Purple up your ass and see how you like it?” or “How about we cane you and see how you like it?” or even, “Hahahahaha..I’d like to see you try that!” So on the auspicious occasion of our anniversary, he decided to let me be the one doling out the ouchie stuff.
To be honest, it totally and utterly freaked me out. Not only were there homosexual connotations that I wasn’t prepared to deal with (not that I have any problems with homosexuality, just that I wasn’t prepared to see Master in that light), but our roles were reversed. (There also was distinct lack of an “Ouch!” reaction from Master , which just wasn’t fun at all and made me feel like an even bigger wuss!)
It was surreal and I was glad when it was all over. I didn’t get any satisfying feeling of having wreaked my revenge, nor did I look forward to the prospect of doing it again next year. 365 days is just not long enough.