While ironing Master’s work shirts last night, I came to a startling revelation:
D/s slavery = Married life in Japan
Wow! I’d never realised it before but most of what is expected of me as a slave in Australia in 2007 is what was expected of me as a married woman in Japan in 2005. Bizarro!
Let me explain. In a nutshell, I’m expected to keep the house tidy, do the washing and ironing, get Master what he wants (ensure that he’s comfortable), greet him when he comes home, be pleasant and cheerful and acquiesce to his wishes. And the truly interesting thing is that I did all that and more as a ‘good little housewife’ in Japan.
In Japan, I’d clean the house, do the washing and ironing (even lay out his shirt and tie combination for the next day), hang out the futons, serve him dinner before me, refill his rice bowl or tea etc., greet him when he came home and see him off when he left in the morning, make his lunch (even fill up those cute little fish-shaped soya sauce bottles for his obento lunch box) and acquiesce to his wishes – he chose where we went and what we did and when.
The only difference between what I did then and what I do now is what goes on in the bedroom in a sexual sense. So, what is slavery if it’s not what goes on behind bedroom doors? The bondage, the beatings, the collar, the boots are all things that are sexually related. That is the bdsm in our relationship.
The service side of slavery and everything that happens on the surface is what happens now as a part of normal life in many cultures and happened in our culture a few decades ago. Is slavery a sneaky way of turning back the clock and getting women to be domestic goddesses again? Because men want to be the hunter-gatherers outside the home and pampered on the inside?
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of women actively want to fulfill that role and are happy to do so. It’s a much simpler way of life and after the pendulum swing to the extremes of women’s equality and sensitive new age men, perhaps it’s time for the pendulum to swing back again.
I never said no to my ex-hubby except in the bedroom. Everything he wanted, we did. I just went along with it because that was what you did. My headspace then and now is much the same ‘I should do what he wants. I’ll bite my tongue and be obedient because I’m his wife/slave.’
Yes, I know I’m owned now. Yes, I know I don’t have a choice about anything anymore. The reality was that I left my husband (I exercised my choice) which perhaps I couldn’t do anymore (although theoretically I could still chose to leave my slavery), but being owned and being married don’t seem that different to me.
We’re still two people struggling with life, enjoying each other, just now we’ve got a few more toys to play with (^v^) So my question again, what makes slavery different from a traditional marriage? I seem to have missed it somewhere…