Lazy Saturday Afternoons

So, what’s a girl supposed to do when her neighbours are karaoke lovers and strains of ‘Viva Las Vegas’ can be heard from over the fence at an ear-piercing level on a Saturday afternoon and she’s trying to do an assignment?

She looks down and takes a picture of her crotch. Of course.

I’ve titled it ‘easy-access trackie pants’.

Don’t ya just love the fluffy pink slippers too?

Maybe it’s time to buy new trackie pants…nah…they’re just to comfy and make it hell-easy to scratch (^v^)

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15 thoughts on “Lazy Saturday Afternoons

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  1. Nature’s engineering…

    …is being mimicked by your pants. Form follows function, doncha see? Your pants lacked a pocket to put things in….so, in a Darwinian way, your pants evolved a place to tuck things in.

    Buckminster Fuller wrote extensively on this in the 30’s. I’m surprised I have to explain it.

    The white stuff? Clearly you’ve been carrying your lattes there and it’s just the dried milk, from jogging to fast or something.

    Mr. Upton Ogood

  2. Re: Nature’s engineering…

    The white stuff? Clearly you’ve been carrying your lattes there and it’s just the dried milk, from jogging to fast or something.

    ahhh that must be it, der me, what was i thinking.
    pulls her dirty mind out of the gutter and goes home, lol.

  3. Re: Nature’s engineering…

    Well…it clearly isn’t her car keys. I’d have my cigarettes in my purse or pouch or pocket, so maybe it’s ash. But, from my extensive study of tobacco ash, I can quite positively say that the ash-like stains were from no plant grown on this planet. From this I deduce that, either, it’s latte stains as I suggested earlier (Occam’s razor) or she had been abducted by two, tiny, one-armed aliens who smoke. They attempted to lift her into their conveyance but discovered that, being one-armed and naked, they had nowhere to put their cigarettes. They took the expedient of using her obviously handy hideaway, thus resulting in the accidental distribution of the hithertofore undescribed alien ash.

    Her escaped, which she has downplayed by not actually mentioning it, was heroic although it did leave her scarred emotionally which results in her need for abuse…a sort of acting out, if you like, to achieve release (escape? Coincidence…I don’t think so).

    {all of the preceding has, as it’s source, the new book I wrote called “Alcohol and the Kinsey scale: The high ways and bi ways of life”. Not currently available in stores everywhere!}

    You’re welcome…I know how you appreciate the information, so I acknowledge your gratitude in advance.

    Mr. Upton Ogood

  4. Re: Nature’s engineering…

    Mr. Upton Ogood, though you thanked in advance i wish to thank you, for enlightening me in the ways of *tiny, one-armed aliens who smoke* .
    heads off to find a tiny, one armed alien.

  5. Re: Nature’s engineering…

    Be careful. If you find one, it could be dangerous.

    I heard, or maybe I didn’t, that a lady was once abducted by said tiny one-armed, naked, smoking aliens. One of ’em conducted her to an interrogation room. There he instructed her to lie back on a couch as he proceeded to join her there. She, being a proper, although by now naked, earthling lady, she attempted to decline his advances by turning away, on to her side. He pleaded with her that all he wanted to do was put his finger in her belly button. She demurred, but being, besides proper, also curious, she rolled on to her back and asked why? He said it was a cultural thing where he came from and, please, could he put his finger in her navel. She finally relented…squeezed her eyes closed and said, ok, doit. Almost immediatley she yelled “hey! that’s not my navel”. He said, “That’s ok..it’s not my finger”.

    You are warned, unless you like that sort of thing.

    Mr. Upton Ogood

  6. Re: Nature’s engineering…

    Ok..you’re on your own then.

    I’m told that you can’t hear a scream in space.

    By the way…charming story about the old lady with the seeming palsy going to the adult store. I loved it. Thanks.

    Upton

  7. Re: Nature’s engineering…

    Well, when you said that you were praying for an alien because of their evil ways, I figured a guy who was up to no good would be interesting to you.

    By the way, as a lady ‘down under’, to me you’ve already got your feet up…so that works for me. 😉

    Cheers

    Upton

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