One week down and five to go on prac. I’ve decided that six weeks is definitely too long. But the question that is on my mind constantly as the weeks roll by is, what am I going to do once uni is all over?
Money is always an issue whether you are in an M/s or a vanilla relationship. Although my fantasies of slavery placed me at home cleaning, scrubbing and doing his bidding 24/7 the reality is can we afford to do that and do I want more than that anyway?
Master has told me of a Mistress he knows who has several slaves living in cages in her house. Upon entering their life of slavery they turned all their wealth over to her and truly became her property. A favourite is chosen to sleep on the floor by her bed at night and the others are locked into their cages under the house. These kind of scenarios always make me think about the banalities of what will happen to those slaves if anything happens to go wrong and what sort of a life is that to lead. While I am a slave, I’m not locked away from the world and I do play a part in society.
I had the opposite situation with my previous owner. I went out and worked shift work either starting before dawn or finishing after midnight. He took all of the money that I made and used it to pay off his mounting debts and occasionally surprised me by bringing home a new tv set or ordering samurai swords off ebay. Meanwhile I’d often get calls at work from the real estate agent saying that the rent hadn’t been paid. And what was he doing during all of this? Playing computer games. Eventually he had to go out and work in a job that I got for him and which I later regretted getting for him because he sat around there and played games too, while I had to do what he was supposed to be doing a lot of the time.
Yes, I was stupid and naive but I guess some part of me wanted so badly to be a part of a D/s relationship and after all, I’d left my husband and everything I’d known for the last ten years and I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to get what I’d been promised! So I stuck with it, hoping that he would change and I’d get to live the life of slavery that I’d dreamed about for so long. But obviously I was just being used and he had no intention of entering in a ‘fair’ relationship with me from the beginning
The staying in an obviously bad relationship deal is such a cliche and I’m quite embarassed that I did it too. ‘Better the devil you know’ really is true in a lot of cases and I guess for me I was scared of being on my own with no money and nothing to show for the past months. I ended up living like that for a year and then it just got too much for me so I asked him to remove my collar (it was another one of those lockable ones and thus my issue with lockable collars began), packed my bags and left.
I have a very different situation with Master and if I’d been smarter I would have come here a lot sooner. Master wasthe one I was bitching to and asked advice of during all that crap with my previous owner. He didn’t try to lure me away or whisper sweet promises of slavery in my ear or anything, he just lent me a patient, understanding ear and helped me on several occasions to ‘start again’ with my owner. Of course, no amount of starting again would of helped that relationship, but he was very supportive anyway.
With Master I’m in the interesting situation that I don’t necessarily have to go to work. If I worked, we’d be able to put some money aside for holidays and superannuation and things, but an income from me is not required for us to live per se. So I’ve often thought what it would be like to be his full-time bitch. During school holidays and things there have been times when I’ve been home and able to meet and greet him everyday and keep the house tidy and those times have been really nice. But they have been limited periods and I wonder what doing that for months would be like. Would I feel fulfilled in being able to serve him fully without the additions of income and a working life, with its associated social connections for me?
The other option for me would of course be to work from home. I worked from home as a translator in Japan and theoretically it would be possible here too. To that end I’m taking an accreditation test on the 9th November, to give myself some more options for next year. Not quite sure when I’ll have time to study for it, but I’ll give it a go anyway.
So at the moment, next year is very up in the air for me, but one thing’s for sure….I ain’t gonna be a high school teacher…they don’t pay you enough for that abuse!