kitten is thinking of moving her cage into the decluttered back bedroom, l think she would like the back bedroom set up as a little playroom dedicated to her needs for bondage and pain…lol …her needs are bondage but she gets the pain from me for free.
One question I have asked Master on numerous occasions is, “Why does it have to be ouchie?” He often replies that it’s because he likes it and he finds my tears irresistible. But for a man who is, in his own words, ‘not a sadist’, I don’t understand how he could get enjoyment out of it. Often he’ll twist my nipple into the next millennium or put his hand somewhere on my cunt rings that just sends waves of pain gushing through me and my waterworks will start. It’s interesting to see his expression change and hear his breath get shallow and fast as my tears have their effect.
I often talk about being beaten or having bruises and marks, but the reality is that I don’t really like it or enjoy it. I enjoy it when it is O.V.E.R and not a milllisecond sooner. Once again it is a case of the notion being much more romantic and insatiably hotter than the reality ever could be. It’s the same as my ideas about what a slave *should* be and what slavery *should* entail. The idea of being caged in a darkened room with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company sounds divine while I’m writing this from the comfort of my bed and doona, but the reality is that having nothing to do except run your hands over the cage bars for extended periods of time is B.O.R.I.N.G. not to mention the ouchie cramps from not being able to stretch out. Immediately after I told Master of my idea about moving the cage into the back bedroom I regretted it. I mean, wtf am I going to do in there? Although I don’t feel that watching tv from my cage is particularly ‘slavey’ and I did feel quite mortified the first time that Master positioned the cage in such a way that I could watch it, I actually appreciate the luxury of entertainment while I’m being caged. It makes the reality much more bearable.
Master and I have been together for seventeen months now and over this time I’ve seen things change. I’ve seen his appreciation for all things ouchie deepen and I’ve witnessed my own ‘No way, Jose’ attitude become stronger. I’m not sure that we are the ‘pure’ Master/slave that we once were when this all started, but we are at a place where we’re comfortable with each other. Like a lovingly worn-out book that you come back to for the comfort of the familIar story, we seek each other’s company and enjoy the togetherness.
There’s a recurring pattern that I see in bdsm relationships that burn so brightly and intensively, often for just a short time. About a third of the blog links I have on my friends list are no longer active and I’ve witnessed three or four ‘break and reassertion of roles’ cases. As I said in my blog the other day, we are constantly changing and evolving . We grow out of our relationships just like our clothes and for some reason people are surprised that that happens. Life as we know it would cease to be if everything were static, so it’s only natural that nothing is forever. And forever can in some cases mean only a few months or weeks. That’s why I feel that marriage is such an outdated concept in the world we live in. ‘Til death do us part’ is so unrealistic it’s laughable.
So I guess, by my own logic, I shouldn’t be surprised that Master has gone down the ouchie path. I’ll just keep whining that it isn’t ‘what I signed up for’ and he’ll keep having that little conversation with me:
“What are you?”
“And who am I?”
“Well get with the program bitch!”