Two sleeps from xmas and I’m about as far from the Christmas spirit as I can get. Is that wrong, or is thirty suitably old enough to no longer ‘be bothered’ to get into Christmassy stuff? Well, whichever the answer, it’s just going to be a quiet time with me and Master spent probably watching copious amounts of tv and eating too much and maybe throwing in a bit of de-crapping of the house just for fun.
Last night we went to a friend’s house to celebrate the construction of his torii gate. While his was not quite a impressive as this one in Kyoto, I’m sure you get the general idea. Being a fellow bdsm-er he constructed it as a type of whipping pole, and not to mark off the sacred from the less-than-sacred in his suburban garden – as torii are originally intended to do. He had attached eyelets in the top and bottom as anchor points for rope and his screened off garden made an ideal place for some outdoor play. He also had a photo studio, an extensive fetish wardrobe and a large kitchen/dining area that had apparently in the past been used for a putt-putt golf contest that had involved a spread-eagled subbie girl with a speculum in her cunt and some orange ping-pong balls. Isn’t having deviant friends a wonderful thing? Lol.
We had a bit of a chat about life and finding partners and his recent ‘breaking of the drought’ with a subbie woman.Listening to his fears and worries about whether she was ‘the one’ because they ‘have these things, but not these things in common and how would that work in the long term?’ I was struck once again by a commonly-held belief that every relationship we enter into has to be ‘forever and ever, ’til death do us part’. See, I don’t subscribe to that belief at all. I’m a fully-paid member of the ‘this-will-make-me-happy-now-and-who-knows-the-person-I-will-be-in-five-year’s-time, therefore-let’s-do-it-and-enjoy-it-while-I-can!’ Church of Immediate Gratification so I don’t quite understand the ‘hmmmmming’ and ‘haaaaaaring’ that is done by people with their eyes on ten or twenty years in the future. Fuck, I don’t even know what sort of person I will be in twelve months let alone ten years, so I feel that prematurely worrying about that sort of thing is a recipe for dying old and lonely.
We grow and evolve constantly. I look at myself and the changes that have occurred both internally and externally over the last 24 months and I’m a completely different person. There is no way that I could of mapped out my life in any way shape or form then, and what I like and enjoy is dramatically different now compared to then. In some ways, I have a much clearer idea of what I like and what I don’t like and what I am willing to dive into and what I need to dip a tentative toe into first.
My friend was very worried about their differing tastes in music and physical activity and while they are very compatible in the bdsm sense, their lifestyles were quite different. He was wondering if he could give up certain things and live a different way for another person. Master and I are a very good example of two people who were born nearly twenty years apart, have very different tastes in things and yet, still manage to have a great deal of enjoyment in each other’s company. Just because I’m a slave doesn’t mean that I give up everything I am and everything I like, in fact Master encourages me to surround myself with things I want and like- I just have to be ready to run and make coffee when he yells at the top of his lungs, “Cappuccino me bitch!”
Yes, I’ve had to make some compromises and be flexible and try not to complain too much about ‘fucking Edith Piaff’ blaring from the speakers, but the rewards of being together with Master more than make up for what I have conceded and I have and will give willing.