As part of my pre-xmas ritual I made a ‘2007 Newsletter’ with some photos and info about my vanilla life over the past twelve months and shipped them off to friends in Japan inside cards emblazoned with sunbathing koalas and surfing santas. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had replies filtering in through snail mail and email and it’s been interesting reading about what has happened in their lives since I’ve been gone. Tales of husbands having affairs and ripped knee cartilage have made me realise that not everything is bathed in light in the land of the rising sun.
When I left Japan in June 2005, not only was my husband surprised, but my friends were too. I remember sitting down with each of them and saying, “Yeah, the rainy season sucks and oh, and by the way, I’m leaving Japan next week.” I cited marital problems and feelings that I wanted to be closer to my family. They all nodded and made sympathetic noises, but I’d been in a relationship with my husband for the past ten years and away from my family for just as long, so I’m sure they were wondering what the cincher was that broke this slave’s back.
Little did they know that I’d met a dom on-line who was promising me the world and I was over the moon about a new future in which I didn’t have to tie myself up in secret and hide bondage tools all over the house. After I left Japan and came back to Australia, it all fell through (of course) with this ‘dom’ and so began my Australian life part two. As a result, I’ve now got several different lives:
1. Australian life Part One (living at home until 18)
2. Japan life (from 18 to 28)
3. Australian life Part Two (28 until now)
4. Slave life ( for the past 30 years, but really only for the last two years)
What is interesting about all these lives is that the players in the individual lives don’t really interact and the lives exist as wholly separate entities with different experiences and with a different ‘me’ as the protagonist. There is no crossover between them and sometimes I feel like there’s only a third of me in each because the last three lives are still continuing on parallel timelines. Are you confused yet? Lol.
I know Master must think that I sound like a broken record at times because I’m always “Japan this, Japan that” but I guess I’m trying to invite him into my ‘Japan life’. I remember also doing that with my ex-husband, trying to get him into my ‘Australian life’ because he only ever existed in Japan and spoke Japanese.When I was there it was, “Australia this, Australia that”. I wanted to share with him my whole other life and I realise now that I’m doing that with Master too. My explorations into Japanese grocery stores and restaurants and my eternal search for the elusive ‘melon bread’ are my way of trying to get the two most important of my lives to overlap.
Writing my 2007 newsletter I found that there was a huge chunk of information missing because I couldn’t write anything about my ‘Slave life’ – the life I had been living the most over the past 12 months. And when I talk to my family , I really do struggle for things to say when they ask, ‘So what have you been up to?’ While I’d love to go into details about the new pain toys I bought Master or my latest beating, I don’t really want to wave it in the faces of the couple of family members who do know. My mother and my sister know about my ‘slave life’, but talking about bdsm stuff to them is sometimes a bit like discussing your sex life – I just don’t want to go there.
I think I’m a moody soul as I can generally cry at the drop of a hat and be angry and happy in the same breath. But in my defence I’d just like to point out that it’s because I’m spread a little bit thin over my lives in some places. Perhaps my newly christened Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde bottom is the same- sometimes it’s Japanese and wants to save face stoically in front of the crowd and sometimes it’s just Australian and wants to go down to the beach for a barbie.
Well, that’s my theory anyway and I’m sticking to it (^v^).