Here I am, staring at my 31st birthday down the barrel and thinking, “How do other people measure my life?”
I don’t have kids and don’t intend to (fingers crossed Master never goes down that ‘breeding path’ that he likes to threaten me with from time to time and that gives me nightmares for days afterwards).
I’m not married and don’t intend to get married (…again…lol…been there once and that was sufficient thank you very much!)
I don’t have a gold-embossed career or even a job (…yet, although I would like one!)
I don’t have a car, because I don’t drive.
I don’t have a house, because it left it in Japan.
I don’t have money.
I’m a slave and that’s all.
I don’t have any of the ‘normal’ rites of passage that people go, ‘Oh, great!’ about and that they can ask questions about and that I could talk about. I guess that’s why I’m pretty stumped for conversation when I go to parties. There are, afterall, only so many things you can say about the weather.
Before I came back to Australia, I pretty much had it all- except for the kids part…lol. I had lots of things to talk about and combined with the whole ‘exotic life in a different country’ thing, a lot of people lived vicariously through my stories and anecdotes. I think I measured up pretty well in most people’s books.
In the realm of slavery I guess I measure up pretty damn well too. I have a Master who keeps and uses me as a slave, the whole kit and caboodle of slave accoutrements- collar, cunt rings, tattoo, cage – and am basically a kept woman…lol. I suppose a lot of people read my musings in this blog and think, ‘Gee, I wish I lived like that!’
I’m not saying that my life is bad in any way. It’s just different and I wonder what people think. Do they think, ‘Poor girl, no kids, no hubby…’ or ‘Lucky her!’ I guess that would depend on whether they are ‘kink-friendly’ or not, but I do sometimes wonder. Living in a society where getting married and having kids is the norm, I do feel somewhat out of place.
A few months back I first talked about not wanting to have kids and thus began a tirade of comments divided into two camps of thinking. The first camp was the, ‘How-could-you-be-so-selfish-that’s-what-women-are-put-on-the-planet-for!’ and the second camp was the, ‘I-love-my-kids-but-wish-I-didn’t-have-them!’ camp. It was interesting to see the two very different ideas and the two very different ways of looking at life and women.
I know I don’t have to compare my life to anyone else’s and as long as I’m happy I shouldn’t give a toss what other people think, but sometimes, I just do stop and wonder.