For some reason on Sunday afternoon my ‘beat-me-until-I’m-black-and-blue-please!’ window opened and I was in the mood for some serious attention. Master, being the kind and obliging soul that he is, dived head-first through my wide open window with a leather paddle, suede flogger and a cane. Isn’t he sweet?
The last couple of times that he has beaten me, I’ve taken a surreptitious look over my shoulder as he was in the midst of pulling his chosen instrument of torture back in preparation for some implement-on-ass action and I have to say one thing….he looks like a mean mother-fucker!
It’s not so much that he has a maniacal look on his face or is foaming at the mouth or anything, just more the fact that he looks so cool and clinical and that he’s swinging back like he’s got a driver in his hand and he’s on the back nine at St. Andrews.
It reminded me of that classic scene in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels when Michael Caine is trying to expose Steve Martin as a phony in a wheelchair with everything numb form the waist down by caning the shit out of his legs. In a final attempt to make him ‘feel something’ Michael Caine takes a run-up from the next room and lands a cracker across Steve Martin’s shins. Teary-eyed and desperately holding back a, ‘FFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!’ Steve Martin reiterates that he felt ‘nothing, not a thing’.
I’m not saying that Master canes me anything like that, but on Sunday he was definitely putting his back into it. Unfortunately, all I’ve got to show for it is a tiny little bruise in the centre of my butt cheeks. I think Master was disappointed when I told him over the phone promising,
“Next time, slut, I’ll use the tawse so we get some real bruises.”
When I’m in indestruco-ass mode, it’s not that the pain feels any less ouchie or I get all floaty and shit, I just get tougher. Instead of dancing across the bed and going, ‘OOOWWWWWW….FFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!’ I somehow manage to suck it up better and kneel there grinding my teeth and stuff. Master says I get this playful look in my eyes or something and he knows that I’m asking for it. All I’d like now is to be informed of my schedule so I can tell exactly when my indestructo-ass will be paying me a visit and I can prepare accordingly- by dusting the tawse and removing the cobwebs from the crops. Lol…
One thing I’ve decided though is that we need a thicker cane. That stingy, omfg-that-hurts pain of the current cane is not something that I can cope with at any time. Hit me with a 2 x 4 plank of wood or something, but that sliver of wood that makes up the cane just ain’t fun. I don’t know what it is about the ass-to-implement ratio that makes canes so fucking stingy (something about the smaller surface area increasing the sting exponentially or some crap) but they are notsomething that even indestructo-ass can cope with. Hmmmm…it’s Master’s birthday soon….looks like I have something to surprise him with.
P.S Thanks for the birthday well-wishes everyone!
P.P.S Master sent me some beautiful flowers….awwww….