So, what are you going to do?

Questions, questions, questions. Questions to the left of me, questions to the right of me and the most common question of late is:

‘So, what are you going to do?’

I have a huge problem answering this one because without knowing my ‘real’ role in life, I sound like nothing more than a well-educated hobo. A job here, some study there, moves from state to state and a couple of failed tests. Even though I’ve made leaps and bounds in the ‘other’ part of my life, people are more interested in the visible and outward side that goes on resumes and makes for polite dinner conversation.

I think that’s why I’m not very motivated to turn to the next page in my visible and outward life – it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, while the ‘real’ life is on the up and up. Not only have I been broken, but I’ve accepted what and who I am and now everything else seems like a ‘fill in’ at best, and a waste of time at worst.

I can imagine how people locked into marriages and tied down with children must feel. The desire to leave it all and be who they really are must be incredibly intense. To not be able to achieve what they want would be so soul-draining. I couldn’t do it. I don’t think I could ‘play’ at happy families with the fire in my belly burning brightly.

Walking through town today I came across the local talent quest with $2000 up for grabs as first prize. Amongst the country music crooners I thought that a pole dancer would make an interesting addition to the line up (although I’m not quite sure about the logistics of setting up a pole in the K-Mart plaza.) I saw the Australian Pole Dancer of 2007 at Sexpo last year and she was very talented indeed. Master keeps telling me I need some skills for when he ships me out to Kalgoorlie to make him some money – something to go on the ‘slave resume’ – and pole dancing seems to be a popular choice. Although, I do believe that people would be more inclined to give me money *not* to dance and *not* to take my clothes off.

I feel very comforted by the fact that Master isn’t heckling me to get a job. I am thankful that he’s not another person asking me, “So what are you going to do?” (I swear if I hear that question one more time I will poke someone with a very sharp stick!) I think he wants me to be happy and to be happy doing something that I want to do. While he would be happy just to take me to work with him and chain me under his desk, he also understands that I have a need to feel productive and that there are practicality issues involved…i.e. he would need to release me so I could get his cappucinos and that just wouldn’t be acceptable because I’m not free…..ever  (^v^)

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3 thoughts on “So, what are you going to do?

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  1. what are you going to do

    Well what are you going to do ?, infers you have some freedom of choice in your life, which you don’t, for starters what ever your going to do has to be done where ever l decide your going to have to live, secondly whatever your going to do, has to fit in with what my service requirements of you are.

    I like coming home to a slave girlie greeting, so working weekends and night shifts is clearly out for you.

    In terms of what you do, is also based on what can you do, your bright and intelligent so most jobs in administration are available to you, you could hunt around for a language specialist role or a support role, you could continue doing adult language training or get a Hotel front desk role or go work at IGA as check out chick, your not limited in what you can do.

    I think you do need to do some form of work, but its something you should enjoy or feel your talents are being utilised otherwise from motivational point of view you get a job that provides you with some money which enables you to go home couple times a year, enables you to be a frugal shopper, enables you to go the muffin sop and get crunchy muffins and a coffee.

    So l think the question is what do you want, why do you want to do it are pertinent questions to be asking, what you would like to do may not be available to you given the contraints of where you live and your going to have prehaps to adjust to concentrating on the second aspect of the question of why do you want to work.

    We both know what you are – a slave that’s been asked and answered and you know you need that collar on you and you need to obedient and of use by serving your owner and Master.

    I wouldn’t worry so much about people asking what your going to do, its always replaced by what do you do ?, do you enjoy it ? sounds interesting ? its just social time fillers of questions to determine your status and get a guage of comparing you in relation to them pack status in society are you more wealthy, important than they are.

    Your a slave and belong to me and you serve your Master and you do what ever is necessary to make me happy

    What you do for money is really a secondary question as far as l can see

    Master

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