Ever since I’ve been with Master he’s had a strict ‘no alcohol without permission’ policy. I’m not exactly sure why, but for some reason he thinks that without an alcohol restriction I’m a bit of a piss-pot. Now, in the past I may have been known to chugg back more than my fair share of alcoholic beverages, but I was young and silly and that’s what you did when you were stuck in snow country in a foreign country. Since my year or so of spending most of my monthly paycheck on chuuhai (the Japanese equivalent of girlie drinks) and karaoke oh-so-many years ago, I’ve rarely touched more than a drop. In fact, other than the glass of wine I had with my friend over lunch yesterday, I can’t remember the last time I had a drink.
Waiting for me on the answering machine when I got home from gym last night was a Masterly message:
“I got your text message about being tipsy, but for some reason, I don’t seem to remember giving you permission to drink at all…”
A more ominous message, I can’t recall ever hearing.
I hadn’t intended on having a drink at all, but somewhere between the sushi and dim sum, there was suddenly talk of getting a bottle. I managed to talk her into getting glasses instead, but the damage had already been done. I’d drunk without permission and Master wouldn’t be pleased.
Somewhere inside of me I resented the fact that he didn’t ‘trust’ me enough to handle my own alcohol consumption. I had the idea that he thought I was a closet drunk bordering on the cliff-face of alcoholism who needed someone to regulate their habit. Jokingly he’d often call me an ‘alcoholic’ after I confessed about my sordid past and it just seemed like he thought I couldn’t control myself. That’s why I thought he’d started the ‘no alcohol without permission’ procedure.
But since reading his blog today I’ve learned that he’s actually doing it to reinforce my slavery to me. Apparently he thinks that having a very natural act in adult society denied to me, will reinforce the fact that I’m not like everyone else in adult society, that I’m not free and don’t have the right to do as other’s do without thought.
Every now and then I have one of these ‘misinterpretation’ moments where I’ve thought he does something for a particular reason, but the reality is that he has his own motivations. Often these moments come when we’re bantering and I’m asking for clarification, but also they sometimes come very innocently through a nonchalantly placed sentence in his blog. That’s why I appreciate his words so much and the fact that he takes the time to read and write on both of our blogs. Without it, I’d been scratching around in the dirt looking for answers like I did before. Thank you sweetie pumpkin Master! xxx