I have a question…
Do you think someone with a violent criminal background should get involved with the lifestyle?
On the surface, this one looks like a no-brainer, but after mulling it over for several days I’ve decided that it’s actually quite complex to answer. I mean, you’ve got to look at it from both sides of the fence and decide whether a ‘changed’ person can really be changed and whether you can let bygones be bygones. It really is a toughie.
So, for starters, let me tell you my feelings about crime. If you are not criminally insane then every crime is committed through making a conscious choice with consequences. I don’t believe the ‘I was young and stupid’ defence has any substance because we were all young and stupid once- whether we committed a crime or not is another matter. Yes, it may have been 20 years ago that you were caught shoplifting or stealing a car or whatever and in the intervening 20 years you’ve been a model citizen who hasn’t even jaywalked, but I don’t believe that you can conveniently ‘forget’ that you have a criminal record for the purposes of a job interview or immigration clearance. You chose to commit the crime that gave you the record, so get over it. Now I know that petty crime is not up on the same rank as violent crime (rape, murder, etc.) but in my mind, crime is crime and if you commit it, you have to live with it for the rest of your life.
Moving right along to ‘Can your past stay as your past and never affect your future?’ Hmmm…my message from the universe today would have me believing otherwise:
Life’s magic is a lot like a swift flowing river. No matter how long you’ve overlooked it or unwittingly swam against it, the instant you stop struggling you’ve back in the flow, hat down low, coolest cat on the block.
In other words, your so-called “baggage,” ain’t no thang.
Coolio- The Universe
But, Mr. Universe, I do beg to differ. I think baggage shapes who you are and what you do. It’s an intrinsic part of you that creates the person living and breathing today. And specifically, I think that people who commit violent crimes are likely to do it again. Of course, not everybody does, but when you commit a crime, I think you’ve got to accept the fact that the baggage will stick with you for life.
Now, if I was on the other side of the fence, I’d be thinking that I’m a changed person and no-one will give me a fair go because of something I did when I was young and stupid. I’d be annoyed that the prejudice towards people with criminal pasts means other people don’t look at the ‘now you’, but always at the ‘past you’. I would want to be given the same chances and choices as everyone else, so I would lie and omit certain details about my past because that was the only way.
When it comes to the lifestyle, as a sub/slave/bottom/person in an incredibly vulnerable position, I want to know if the person holding a beating implement above me has done scary funky shit before. In fact, I just don’t *want* to know, I *need* to know. Yes, having that knowledge would seriously affect my decision to have a relationship or play with that particular person, but I think in this type of a relationship I have a right to know.
Whether a person with a violent criminal past should get involved in the lifestyle or not is something I can’t really make a judgement on while I’m sitting on the fence. From a sub/slave/bottom perspective, absolutely no way do I want anyone with that sort of past in a position of power over me. From the other side, I’d want the person to get to know me before they made that kind of decision. I guess it really does depend on the individual and how ‘rehabilitated’ they are as to whether they are ‘fit’ for that sort of power exchange, but one thing is for certain, I think the other person in the relationship has a right to know- no questions asked.