One thing I really hate about being employed in anything other than the gainful pursuit of slavery is the fact that I expend so much time and energy in pleasing people who mean absolutely nothing to me.
Master laughingly calls me an ‘A+ personality’ because I always want to do everything well and unfortunately that also extends to everything I do outside of my slavery as well. Meanwhile, I believe that other people call my personality ‘anal beyond belief’. Some part of me just won’t let me do things in a half-assed way. Even if I don’t give a shit about what I’m doing, I absolutely have to do it to the best of my ability. Sometimes the results aren’t always the best, but I’m definitely always trying my best.
In my slavery, that’s a great thing. I can focus on directly pleasing Master and there’s a ‘purpose’ behind what I’m doing. In everything outside of my slavery, even though it may be indirectly pleasing Master in some way, I feel like I’m wasting my time because there isn’t a direct connection with Master. I feel like everything else is getting in the way of my ‘real job’ i.e slavery, but still, I can’t bring myself to ‘cut corners’ or do ‘half a job’. Doing that would be the equivalent of the universe collapsing in upon itself i.e. the end of this kitten as you know her.
In terms of the job I’m doing at the moment, Master doesn’t give a shit whether I do it or not. The only thing it’s doing for either of us, is putting some funds into my bank account so that I can pay for the slave necessities of trips home to see family, pain toys for birthdays, anniversaries and xmas presents and pay for the all-important slave maintenance- someone’s gotta pay for all those brazillian waxes! He said the choice to work was entirely up to me and that he wouldn’t force me to do anything. In theory that’s great because I don’t feel like I’ve been coerced into doing something against my will, but a part of me would also really like the direction or instruction of doing something because ‘Master wanted it’. I’d like to know that by working I’m pleasing him, but the sad reality is that it’s detracting more from my slavery than it’s putting in.
I know in the bigger sense that everything I do pleases him… yada yada…*insert slavery rainbow and fluffy clouds here*….but really… it doesn’t. If what I’m doing ain’t got boots and nakedness involved, he couldn’t give a shit. Lol. And although I’ve been wearing boots to work everyday for 9 weeks now, he’s only seen me on maybe four occasions and because sex kitten boots really aren’t safe for work, all he has seen on the few occasions he has seen me in my work clothes have been ‘nice day boots’ making him even less pleased. It’s just all so meaningless!! AHHHHHHHH.
The temp assignment I’ve been doing since May has now been extended for at least another month, so it’s another month of 6am-freeze-your-butt-off-in-the-dark-of-winter wakeups, another month of mind-numbing repetitive work and another month of straining with every fibre of my being to be a ‘good little girl’ for someone other than my Master.
It’s sad, but at the moment I’m a slave to the money.