Pulp fiction

There are times that I just want to know.

I don’t want to wonder, ruminate or try to guess. I just want to know.

Like the mountaineer who climbs the mountain, like the runner who finishes the marathon, I just want to know that I can do it. 

I want to know that I can be pushed beyond my limits. I want to know that he’ll do it until he has well and truly had his fill. I want him to take until I have no more left to give.

But somehow there is always that little spark of me left that he never quite gets to. It’s that spark that later leaps into flame, consuming all the good work he has done before..

Even though I’m not a masochist, even though I have never experienced sub space and even though I am extremely sensitive to pain, I want him to beat me to a pulp.

Just on this side of still breathing.

Just on the other side of well used.

Because I want to know that I can.

So I can stop wondering and second-guessing what I am.

So I can be presented with the reality that I am slavemeat and nothing more.

So I can know.


4 thoughts on “Pulp fiction

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  1. So like one your favourite movies you like some Pulp Fiction would you, one day soon when the verandas are done and l install the portable cross or maybe at a future Areuready party, you’ll find where your limits begin and end and where my needs to be beat you are satiated and we’ll discover the gap between your bottie and the cane truly lies

    Until then my precious you”ll have to just keep on wondering about how much you have become slave meat


  2. Hiya kitten

    I dont like pain per se, except i like where it takes me. Guess thats kind of weird. 🙂 If i can zone and get into the headspace then i like to be pushed and see how far i can go and afterwards there is always a sense of achievement. Not sure why as all i have to do it lay there and take it. lol Btw, i can’t always get into the headspace which is frustrating at times.

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