You know when you’re in a state of blah that’s so bad you don’t know whether you want to be beaten or cuddled?

Yeah, well that’s where I am at the moment.

After wrestling all week with coding issues, socket errors and random freezing episodes with my work computer, I came home to discover that our internet connection was cactus. I NEED internet. It’s a non-negotiable necessity in my life, and when I can’t connect, I get panicky. In related news, I’m also plaguing.

No internet + plague = scary fucking dragon bitch kitten

I won’t go into the nitty gritty of what the problem was and how it finally (sort of) got solved, suffice to say that 6 or 7 different tech support dudes were involved in various countries, a new $179 modem router was purchased (which may or may not have been an unnecessary expenditure) and I got so stressed that I could feel the creation of new life inside me -an ulcer.

But anyways, after all that we have a sort-of-functioning Belkin modem router that has FOUR LIGHTS…but sometimes when I network with my laptop it really has FIVE LIGHTS. And if you find that reference to lights hilarious, you and I need to chat about the delights of Jean Luc.

So in my last post I asked about Danny Kaye. My supervisor was chatting about him for some reason and suddenly across the pods came the question,
"Kathy, you know who Danny Kaye is, don’t you?"

Apparently she thought I was of an age where I should know who the hell he is and she was stunned when I had no idea. And when I say stunned, she was acting like I’d never heard of Adolf Hitler. My worry when I found out who he was, was that I must be *really* looking like a hag if she thought I’d know an entertainer of the 50’s.

Master was also a bit stressed when he found out I didn’t know the infamous Danny Kaye. I gently reminded him that I was a child of the 80’s who came of age in the Alf, Cosby Show, Webster and Family Ties era. My known icons included Michael J. Fox and furry things from out of space. It’s hard sometimes when there’s almost a 20 year gap between slave and Master.

In smut news, Master purchased me a pair of thumbcuffs. It was funny because I have exceptionally small wrists and fingers (why can’t my ass be small and I have chunky fingers and wrists?) so when the cuffs went on, I quickly wriggled out of them and gave Master the thumbs up:

‘Sweetie…’ (gesticulating wildly, but not rudely, with free thumbs)

So they ended up being tightened to the point that my thumbs quickly turned purple. I’ve never had thumbcuffs on before so it was interesting. I felt a bit like I was playing ‘yubizumo’ with myself. I don’t know what we call that game in English, but it’s the one where you lock fingers and try to squish the other person’s thumb with yours.

The good thing about thumbcuffs is that you can still scoot your ass out of the way of a quickly falling cane that wants to impact with it. Maybe Master needs some ass-cuffs to rectify that situation.


19 thoughts on “Blah

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  1. when i was a kid, and i guess still now with my son i called your “yubizumo” a thumb war. We had a ryhme where you crossed thumbs over to either side with each beat before you started

    ” one two three four, i declare a thumb war”

    then you started the crushing

  2. I know who Danny Kaye is… I’m 35… he’s one of my favorite actors of ALL TIME… I loved all his stuff and have been in the process of trying to own every movie he ever made. I cried when he died. So yes, I’m a little surprised you didn’t know, too. πŸ™‚

  3. Was there a Danny Kaye revival back a few years ago or something? Was I in Japan when he was the biggest thing since sliced bread…again? Now I feel like I’ve missed out on something…lol.


  4. Oh I did the one two three four rhyme too but we had “five six seven eight you’re the thumb I really hate” To go along with it. Then you bowed and the battle commenced haha.

    I’ve always been interested in thumbcuffs. I think they’d be fun.

  5. i think you missed Danny Kaye because you were in Japan, i remember him too but havent seen nor heard anything about him until now, i destinctly remember he had a big nose and a great smile and made wholesome movies all family orientated, im not sure i ever saw him as a villian.

  6. I don’t think you missed anything that would have made your life different, had you known about him. I always found him rather unwholesomely wholesome. There’s something a little creepy about him for me, though I couldn’t tell you what, exactly.

  7. I gave my first speech on Patrick Stewart who played Jean-luc Picard. Here’s a great quote from “Encounter at Farpoint”: “If we’re going to be damned, let’s be damned for what we really are”

    I second the naming of yubizumo as thumb war.

  8. Well 1950’s stars like Rock Hudson, Danny Kaye, Liberarcha, Montgomery Cliff were all gay as a row of tent pegs and if they werent gay most were bi sexual like Jeff Chandler, Carey Grant and the list would go on.

    Their sexuality was hidden by the studios as it meant they would lose millions in movie revenues and the stars of the box office hid their sexuality as it meant they would lose a lifestyle.

    So you really got to ask yourself what you can believe and who can you trust


  9. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to do with how old they think you are, it’s more to do with your years in Japan and also how much (and what kind of) TV you watch. I’ll bet you know more about thumb cuffs than those Danny Kaye experts know about him πŸ˜‰

    Seeing as how lovely the female rear is, I dolove your idea of a butt-cuffs..please do report here (pictres = bonus points) when you invent or find and buy one! (and I’m only half πŸ˜‰ -PD

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