Itakimo

I’ve said in the past that Japanese as a language has some great words/phrases for things that take a sentence or two to express in English. However, itakimo is a feeling that sounds just as good in English:

“It hurts so good!”

The play party we went to on Saturday night saw me prancing around mostly naked in my pony girl harness and thigh-high red pvc boots. Later into the night I managed to sneak a jelly shot or two and a vodka cruiser around my bit and suddenly I was the talkative one chatting with lots of people I’d never exchanged more than a hello with and having a generally splendid time.

But I wasn’t there for the social chitchat, I was there to be strung up and solidly beaten – which Master obliged me by doing. After the crop, flogger and fly-swatter paddle, things turned serious when the rubber flogger came out. I was a little disappointed when, after extracting some botty blood, Master signalled that he was going to stop by applying baby oil to the offending area.

“Sweetie….” I whined in my most beat-me-some-more-please! voice.

So the baby oil was quickly removed and then the cane made an appearance. I almost wished that I had stopped while I was ahead. Fortunately there were only a few strokes (I counted about twelve, but Master assured me there were forty or so of his ‘light’ canestrokes.) When Master queried whether I’d had enough, I responded with a response straight out of the How to be a Stupid Slave Girl 101 textbook:

“Ummm…I think I’m about 60% beaten.”

Master attempted to provide me with the remaining 40% after we returned home, but by then I’d lost my beating window and audience. As a result I was screeching like a fishwife and my ass could have had mexican jumping beans in it I was moving around so much.

The itakimo feeling is something that I’ve felt the fringes of on rare occasions when I’m in the zone. It’s a feeling akin to biting into deliciously ripe fruit and having the flavour burst across your taste buds. It feels like an energy that dances across my skin before the pain sets in. It feels like nothing I’ve ever felt and is so difficult to put into words. So much so that the best word I can come up with is itakimo.

Earlier in the night I’d already seen carinastar’s botty of steel break one of her favourite canes, but afterwards she was grinning like a cheshire cat. I think I’m beginning to understand what she feels. Although I’m a very long way from being a masochist,  there are moments when being beaten really does hurt so good.

On another note, one thing I’m finding interesting at parties of late is my total lack of being stressed out with my nakedness. Several months ago it was a huge issue for me – one that I thought might make or break me. Now I really couldn’t give a shit who saw what part of me. I wonder if that is a good or bad thing. Do I now no longer care? Or am I actually comfortable in my slave uniform for once?

In fact, when I was getting ready for the party and wearing my comfy warm clothes as I applied makeup etc, Master mindfucked me by saying,

‘You can go like that.’

I have to admit that I was totally disappointed. Wear warm, comfy clothes to a play party? Wtf? It wasn’t until I realised that he was performing a double mindfuck twist that I calmed down.

It’s so funny how we change and grow….and slightly scary at the same time.

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