Christmas checklist

1. Wake up on Christmas morning and try to get out of bed….

2. Remember to unchain self BEFORE trying to get out of bed.

3. Unchain self, get out of bed and skip into Master’s bedroom.

4. Jump on the bed saying, ‘Hiiiiiiiiiii!’….

5. Get spanked for not saying, ‘Merry Christmas’.

6. Get spanked again for not putting on boots before jumping on Master’s bed.

7. Put boots on, say ‘Merry Christmas’ and then get told to go get her presents.

8. Skip off to the linen closet and look for presents behind Master’s toy tank (where she found them a few days before).

9. Finding nothing,  peer back into the bedroom to see Master smirking at her.

10. Get asked, “Where do you think a slave’s presents would be, bitch?”

11. Look in the only place presents would be kept for one wearing a shiny thingie.

12. Remove presents from slave cage and skip back into Master’s bedroom.

13. Go get Master’s presents and deposit them on his bed.

14. Compare brillance of slave girlie’s gift wrapping vs. crappness of Master’s wrapping.

15. Point out said differences.

16. Be reminded of who is wearing the shiny thingie.

17. Discover a hole and a missing chocolate crackle in Master’s surprise gift.

18 Decide that Santa must of come in the middle of the night and stolen one of Master’s choolate crackles, because who else would do such a thing?

19. Gush over gifts received and go set up Master’s Xbox 360.

20. Get asked, ‘Where are my pain toy presents??’

21. Remind Master that he already has all pain toys known to man.

22. Eat scrummy cherries, nectarines and mango for breakfast and wash it down with a frothy cappucino.

23. Eat scrummy Master-cooked turkey with salad for lunch.

24. Decide that turkey is better without cranberry sauce.

25. Eat crunchy pudding with custard and icecream.

26. Make mental note to self that 1min in the microwave is waaaaay too long for small Christmas puddings.

27. Discover the difference between Xbox and Xbox 360 games (why didn’t anyone tell me??)

28. Ponder whether Christmas day is too late to send Christmas cards.

29. Decide to send New Year’s cards instead.

30. Have a lovely Christmas!


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