Services in lieu

We had a visit from the watering system man this morning.  The controller wasn’t working and the pump wouldn’t turn off. He did the watering system man equivalent of ‘control+shift+delete’ ing by popping out the fuse with a screw driver and putting it back in again. Voila! Control is now working, but pump problem is the domain of an electrician to be fixed another day.

For his ‘sweat-inducing’ work of popping out the fuse and pushing it back in again, the watering system man charged us $70.

After I’d paid and he left $70 richer, I went into the house and told Master the ‘good’ news. His reply?

“Did you offer to suck his dick instead of paying him the cash?”

After hearing that remark, I decided that my mission to turn Master into a frugal man is finally complete. Over the last two and a half years I’ve slowly but surely introduced him to the wonderful world of coupons, fuel vouchers, price comparisons and minimal pantry stocking. I have to say that he has done very well (although sometimes he gets a bit shaky when there are less than 12 cans of tinned tomatoes in the pantry) and his thoughtful idea to exchange my dick-sucking services for Trevor’s screwdriver services was just icing on my frugal cake.

I then thought about all the money that we continually shell out to guys in order to have things done around the house – the lawnmower man, the pool/spa fixer man, the watering system man, the garage door man, the painter, the electrician, the internet man, the patio-erecting dudes, the washing machine fixer man, the dishwasher fixer man, the list is endless. And if we were to offer my services in lieu of labour costs, how frugal would that be!

Instead of parts + labour costs, it would be something like: one dishwasher replacement seal and one dick suck. One mowing of the lawn and one spanking session. One patio erection and three erections courtesy of Stevo, Davo and Johno that could find a place to call home in a frugal-minded slave girl’s holes.

I’m sure there have been many such ‘arrangements’ done in private at one time or another, but the internet sounds like a wonderful place to advertise the exchange of services:

Bitch with broken boiler seeks man with a blowtorch to blow.

Slut with septic system problems seeks man to clean her rear entrance.

Need a filling! Fill my hole…then fill my other holes.

Just a thought (^v^)


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