Gossamer threads

They say that slaves make bad friends and I would have to say that I am the worst of the worst. I don’t call people to have a talk, I don’t go out for coffee, I don’t invite anyone to come over or go shopping. You might get an email out of me once in a blue moon and maybe a birthday card, but anything more and you’re expecting too much out of this slave.

The whole thing about slaves being bad friends is that there’s always someone with a higher priority than the friend. If the owner says, ‘Get your ass home now!’ that’s what you’ve got to do -even though you might be in the midst of ‘friend’ stuff. A slave being asked if she wants a glass of wine, might result in a flurry of text messages to get permission. A shopping expedition might require a bathroom stop every ten minutes because she was told to wear her buttplug out. Being friends with a slave is a veritable minefield, and generally people don’t understand and either (a) think you’re a nutcase or (b) think you need to grow up and get a ‘real’ relationship.

On the side of the slave there also the worry that you can and will be expected to do something at any time. You always want to make yourself available ‘just in case’ and that means not wanting to make yourself ‘unavailable’.

‘Sorry! You called how many times? Five?? I couldn’t hear my phone over the music!!’

…is not something you want to say to your significant domly one.

I was not the most sociable of people pre-slave, but I have to say that compared to now, I was a socialization animal back then. Coffee and a social chit-chat, drinks and karaoke, an afternoon riding rollercoasters and screaming my lungs out, you name it, I was up for it. Now?  I don’t do what I want to do…at least without asking permission first.

It’s not that Master would say no. In fact, I don’t even think he would care what I chose to do (see previous comment about laidback approach.)It’s more that I don’t have the ability to do things on the spur of the moment and I don’t have the sense that I am my own person, therefore, I automatically turn down invitations and I tend not to make any of my own.

It’s not that I don’t want to socialize. Actually since this whole ‘restless’ thing started, I’ve realise just how isolated I am, and how I’d just like to have someone I could spend a quiet afternoon with shopping. But funnily enough, I have this little voice inside that says, “If you’re not out working, you should be at home!” I’m not exactly sure what that little voice is, or who it’s speaking for, but that is generally what I hear when I get an inkling to ‘roam’. I also feel guilty when I’ve been out enjoying myself alone because somewhere inside I think that that’s not what slaves ‘should’ be doing.

Master’s style of ownership is very laid-back and loose, but still, I somehow feel that there are invisible restrictions all over me. Like gossamer threads of a web, they bind me tight.

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2 thoughts on “Gossamer threads

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  1. I know how you feel. I am much the same way. Hell, I won’t confirm whether or not a schedule change at work before I talk to Master unless it is unavoidable and not something I have a say in. All of my friends, are friends that He has had for years and years. I had left all of my former friends behind when I moved up here to live with Him. Although that was a good thing, because they were turning into people I didn’t like and could not be around. The only reason His friends are mine, is well.. because I’m His wife/slave. Other wise I wouldn’t know any of them. As far as making plans? *shakes head* “Let me get back to you on that.” or “Sorry *insert Master’s name* doesn’t want company tonight.” I don’t go out without Master. I sometimes go bumming with my mother without Him sometimes, but it feels weird.

    1. Oh good! I’m glad it’s not just me with the ‘threads’. I have to agree, it does feel weird going out ‘sans Master’.

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