It’s all in your mind

You may remember me talking about the fact that every now and then when I’m in bondage I get woosy and get exceptionally close to passing out. First I feel the blood rushing out of my head, then I generally lose my hearing and finally, if I’m not released within about ten seconds, I pass out.

It’s not fun for me or the person who has tied me up. It also comes so randomly that I probably also ‘make’ myself that way by worrying about whether it’s going to happen again this time or not. Yes, it’s the old self-fulfilling-prophecy-fucks-me-over-again trick.

I’ve investigated several possible causes – vertigo, blood pressure issues, breathing problems, blood sugar etc. – but nothing really seems to explain why it happens or what  can do to prevent it. So I’m always on the look out for information…on geeky places like the Discovery Channel.

The other night they had a show on called, ‘The Human Body: Pushing the Limits -Sensation’. It was mostly to do with people who had survived incredibly extreme situations and the processes that went on inside their body to allow them to live. It also discussed the nervous system and how we feel and interpret pain and they mentioned several things that I thought were very interestink…

Firstly, ever wondered why it hurts so much to be caned on your hands or feet? This picture shows what our body would look like if  the size of our body parts was in direct proportion to the number of touch sensors within them:

body                                                                                                                                                             (The Discovery Channel)

Notice how big the hands and feet are? The hands have something like one hundred times the amount of receptors that the back of the legs do. Now we all know why we beat people on their botties and not other places (that and because it’s one of the few places you can’t see the bruises!)

The show then went on to discuss those lovely things called endorphins. Apparently, the body suppresses pain by releasing endorphins, which stop the synapses from transmitting pain sensations to the brain. In order for this to happen, the pain must be extreme enough that the brain decides that releasing pain would inhibit survival. By stopping pain the brain is giving the body a chance to get away from the danger and whatever is causing the pain. Once the danger is gone however, the brain stops the flow of endorphins, releasing the pain and telling the body that it has been injured and needs help.

This would explain why I can rip the bejesus out of my nipples with weighted clover clamps and not feel a thing during the act, but once I’m done I can barely breathe enough through the pain to remove them. What I’d just like to know is why I felt every second of my labia piercings. I think I was in so much pain I was glued to the damn bench. Did my brain not want to give me a chance to get out of there?

For those of you who forgot how I attractive I looked during the piercing process, here’s a reminder:


I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be all ‘floaty’. I’m so jealous when I read about people heading off to la-la land and enjoying the trip. I’d like to be able to do that so I can take more, but as it is, it’s such a study in endurance for me every stroke, every time.

They say that pain has a very large emotional component and that we all experience pain in very unique ways. So does that make me a wuss, or actually someone who just doesn’t recognise the pain as being ‘bad enough’ that I need to remove myself from the situation? Maybe I haven’t been pushed enough, or maybe somewhere deep down there’s a part of me that has never really let go, that retains control and knows that I could get me the hell out of there if I really wanted.

Slaves don’t have choices, but I choose to be one.

Maybe that’s the problem.


One thought on “It’s all in your mind

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  1. i’ve been in la-la land once, maybe twice. Trouble is that getting there involves more pain on the way than I can stand without doing such a good job of frightening me and Master that it can’t be done in real life. It’s a bit likje the sound Barrier, which used to break up planes every time they tried to go faster. Once you’re through it’s wonderful but I still am not designed to go supersonic.

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