So, how many of you started on your journey by reading Castlerealm? That glorious spot in cyberspace that taught all and sundry about ‘Proper Submission’ and ‘Aftercare 101’. Go on, don’t be shy or embarassed. Put your hands up!
*puts own hand up*
I think that’s why everything got fucked up.
Way back when Castlerealm seemed to present M/s as everything I wanted and was looking for, I’d read the tales from the ‘promised land’ there and my heart would start beating faster and sometimes I could barely breathe for the excitement. I made me want to go and throw myself at the feet of the next man, any man, who came along. Strangely enough it also made me start wanting to write bad poetry….
I can think back now and realise Castlerealm presented a picture of cookie-cutter bdsm in which everything in a perfect vanilla relationship was simply given a bdsm twist: marriage ceremonies became collaring ceremonies, foreplay became warm-ups, cooking and cleaning became service, a wife controlling the purse strings became topping from the bottom. Perhaps that’s why it resonated with me so much; It wasn’t scary and filled with stories of trials and tribulations, instead it presented things that I was familiar with, but jazzed up with collars of ‘consideration’ and slave postures.
I’m not saying it was bad or anything, and I know that it ended up being a tribute to Lord Colm’s slave jade who passed away, I just think that taken out of context those unattainable ideals can be very dangerous. And considering that Castlerealm was where most people started out, it created hordes of doms looking for boneless slaves willing to bend over 180 degrees for them and subs looking for kind, but cruel doms who could beat them while also changing a nappy at the same time.
I googled Castlerealm (mostly because I wanted a good laugh…did I hear someone call for a cynic?) and found that it has disappeared from cyber space. Apparently it disappeared with barely a ripple and no-one knows why. So I instead found several sites for the ‘new submissive’ that provided me with equal amounts of entertainment:
Kyla’s Guidelines for New Subs– among other ‘important’ information it provides detailed diagrams of where one should ‘sit’ in a chatroom depending on ones orientation.
New Submissive’s Tips on Behaviour – details how subs should act feminine and demure in order to find ‘The One”.
How to Pick Your Dominant – defines a Master as, “He is the type who would test new toys on himself first to make sure he does not harm his submissive or slave.”……yeah right.
And finally New Submissives which summarizes the ‘important’ info that was on Castlerealm and explains becoming a submissive in six easy steps! If only I had followed the steps then I wouldn’t have had all the angst all these years! What the fuck was I thinking??
I think I’d hate to be a newbie again. I found the whole ‘learning experience’ akin to going through puberty for the second time – full of unexplainable mood swings, embarrassingly tacky outpourings of emotions and a tendency to be walked all over by anyone who chanced by. I realise it’s all part and parcel of the process, but does it really have to be that painful?
Oh that’s right…silly me…I was the one that signed up for it.