Castles in the air

So, how many of you started on your journey by reading Castlerealm? That glorious spot in cyberspace that taught all and sundry about ‘Proper Submission’ and ‘Aftercare 101’. Go on, don’t be shy or embarassed. Put your hands up!

*puts own hand up*

I think that’s why everything got fucked up.

Way back when Castlerealm seemed to present M/s as everything I wanted and was looking for, I’d read the tales from the ‘promised land’ there and my heart would start beating faster and sometimes I could barely breathe for the excitement.  I made me want to go and throw myself at the feet of the next man, any man, who came along. Strangely enough it also made me start wanting to write bad poetry….

I can think back now and realise Castlerealm presented a picture of cookie-cutter bdsm in which everything in a perfect vanilla relationship was simply given a bdsm twist: marriage ceremonies became collaring ceremonies, foreplay became warm-ups, cooking and cleaning became service, a wife controlling the purse strings became topping from the bottom. Perhaps that’s why it resonated with me so much; It wasn’t scary and filled with stories of trials and tribulations, instead it presented things that I was familiar with, but jazzed up with collars of ‘consideration’ and slave postures.

I’m not saying it was bad or anything, and I know that it ended up being a tribute to Lord Colm’s slave jade who passed away, I just think that taken out of context those unattainable ideals can be very dangerous. And considering that Castlerealm was where most people started out, it created hordes of doms looking for boneless slaves willing to bend over 180 degrees for them and subs looking for kind, but cruel doms who could beat them while also changing a nappy at the same time.

I googled Castlerealm (mostly because I wanted a good laugh…did I hear someone call for a cynic?) and found that it has disappeared from cyber space. Apparently it disappeared with barely a ripple and no-one knows why.  So I instead found several sites for the ‘new submissive’ that provided me with equal amounts of entertainment:

Kyla’s Guidelines for New Subs– among other ‘important’ information it provides detailed diagrams of where one should ‘sit’ in a chatroom depending on ones orientation.

New Submissive’s Tips on Behaviour – details how subs should act feminine and demure in order to find ‘The One”.

How to Pick Your Dominant – defines a Master as, “He is the type who would test new toys on himself first to make sure he does not harm his submissive or slave.”……yeah right.

And finally New Submissives which summarizes the ‘important’ info that was on Castlerealm and explains becoming a submissive in six easy steps! If only I had followed the steps then I wouldn’t have had all the angst all these years! What the fuck was I thinking??

I think I’d hate to be a newbie again. I found the whole ‘learning experience’ akin to going through puberty for the second time – full of unexplainable mood swings, embarrassingly tacky outpourings of emotions and a tendency to be walked all over by anyone who chanced by. I realise it’s all part and parcel of the process, but does it really have to be that painful?

Oh that’s right…silly me…I was the one that signed up for it.


10 thoughts on “Castles in the air

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  1. I consider myself very lucky to have missed the Castlerealm boat. I know it was still up and running when I was new, but I just never made it there beyond a few cursory glances. I think I had dismissed it even then as being too “rainbows and butterflies” for me.

    I can’t say I’m sorry that it’s gone. *shrug*

    1. Unfortunately I ended up on a caribbean cruise courtesy of the castlerealm boat….at least I’m back on dry land now 🙂

      I know you and I started blogging around the same time…how long before you got together with your man were you looking into the D/s stuff?

      1. A couple of years I guess. I had one serious bdsm relationship prior to Master and one bdsm fling. Master and I “knew” each other (chat room kind of “knowing”) throughout those couple of years before we met.

        But my very first exposure to “real” bdsm on the net was Leesa’s Lessons Learned blog and she is so far from Castle Realm – they are pretty intense. I knew that what she had was what I wanted so by the time I found Castle Realm I’d already had my mind made up.

        1. Is that blog still around? I like intense 🙂 Unless of course it involves needles….needles….bad…

          Do you think you have what you wanted? Or has what you have become what you want?

    2. I actually saw CastleRealm when I was starting out and decided there has to be something better; which is how The Iron Gate was born. I never liked the way CastleRealm painted the picture and wanted a realistic approach.

      1. The Iron Gate is definitely better in that it provides a more balanced point of view….but I still noticed the poetry there 🙂

  2. i read somewhere along the tracks that CR was closed down as LC had moved on with his life. can’t remember where i read that and of course don’t know how true that is.

    1. You could be quite right there. I supposed we all have to move on at some time and things like that would just keep draggin you back.

  3. Hi there, I’m totally enjoying your blog posts as always. I wanted to mention that you can “peek into the past” of most websites through (the “Wayback Machine”). You can also find out when a site transitioned. There are links to archived versions of most sites, always about a year out of date. In the links to old versions of Castlerealm, the door to the castle was still open on Oct. 24, 2007, but by the time of the next harvesting by the Wayback Machine on Dec. 13, 2007, there was only a page with a brief notice and no links to enter the site, and for the next year, the site was nothing more than that placeholder page before it disappeared altogether. Here’s a link to the site when it was sitll active on Oct. 24, 2007, in case you still want to revisit the past:

    (And by the way, count me among those who got part of my “education” by reading in the castle when I was starry-eyed.)

    1. God! Now I’m going to have to click on the damn link! Damn you! Lol….;)

      Thanks for the info, I had no idea about that site.

      *toddles off down memory lane…

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