The entertainment people give me.
Seriously, I nearly pee myself sometimes with the things people say.
Like yesterday, I opened up my inbox and there was the question to end all questions:
“hi. i have a question. do masochists enjoy getting periods?”
Now, I’m sorry if that was your question dear reader, but I really can’t let that one slide without poking some fun at it. I really and truly can’t. The universe would cry out against me if I did and I don’t want to piss off any gods – especially the lotto gods who have yet to bequeath mountains of cash upon me.
The first thing Master said in response to the question was,
“Well, that’s obviously a guy and he has never lived with a girlie before.”
I’d have to whole-heartedly agree because there is no conceivable way that a girlie or someone who has lived with a girlie and felt the effects of the red plague first hand could even think about asking that question.
And in case that didn’t spell out the answer to the question clearly enough,
“Are you fucking insane? NO!”
Now, I know it’s easy enough to make the “masochist=loves pain=therefore any old pain will do” equation, but it’s definitely not the case. TPO is very important and to you and me, that means time, place and opportunity must align.
As an example, I went to the dentist last week to have my teeth cleaned. OMFG….my dental hygienist was the gorilla grooming champion of the dentistry world. She poked and scraped and prodded until every last bit of plaque and calculus was gone and when she’d finally finished my bib looked like it belonged on the set of ‘I-saw-what-you-did-last-dental-appointment’ and I had more gaps between my teeth than a redneck on crack. It was so painful that I came home and took copious amounts of drugs and curled up in my blankie and slept (of course, my TMJ didn’t help…)
I’ve been known to get juicy from a caning or a beating providing the TPO is correct, but any old pain does not do it for me – especially not during my periods where I feel soooo sexy swollen up like a beached whale with fluid retention, where my insides feel like they are coming out my eyeballs, where I just want to throw things and cry simultaneously and, last but not least, where really gross, alien-looking stuff comes out of your privates.
Having said that though, I’m sure someone, somewhere has a fetish for it and undoubtedly there is a website for it.
Oh, and whadayaknow…a quick google search turned up this gem from the TotallyNSFW Gallery (DO NOT CLICK THIS IF YOU ARE AT ALL SQUEAMISH ABOUT SEEING PERIOD BLOOD EVERYWHERE!)
But thank you for taking the time to ask the question, for providing me with entertainment and giving me a blog topic (and of course for making me do the google search that proved to me once again that me and my kinks are pretty damn tame!)