I have a question:
Does flipping Master the bird make me a ‘bad’ slave?
I see a lot of things written about ‘brattiness’ and what is ‘proper’ for a slave to do. I also see ‘tone’ and ‘attitude’ being mentioned a lot in relation to being suitably submissive. Every time I read something like that I wonder whether it really makes a difference. I mean, isn’t a domly one supposed to be secure enough in his dominance not to need to worry about stuff like that?
Master and I were having a little chat yesterday and I brought up this particular topic and his feelings surprised me. Some part of me thought that he would be ‘above’ genuflecting and that he wouldn’t care one way or another, because I was under the impression that as long as I did what I was told, I was a ‘good slave’. But his opinion was decidedly different – apparently I should ‘know my place’ and show him the respect that he is ‘entitled to’.
I don’t really flip him the bird or call him an asshole and although I don’t generally call him “Master” to his face, I’m aware of my place (at his feet) and I do show him respect. I do, however, sometimes feel the need to make some snappy comebacks when I’m feeling playful or when I need to vent my displeasure at doing something.
My favourites are:
“Do I look like your slave or something?”
“Next time, could you ask for something that takes longer to make?”
“What is it with all this ordering around and shit you do?”
Does that make me a bad slave? Does what I say matter, when what I do is right? And on the flip-side, if everything on the surface is ‘correct’, but everything within is ‘wrong’, am I still a good slave?
I’m very aware of how language is used to represent status and relationships and can navigate my way through the seemingly endless levels of honorific, humble and polite language that Japanese requires. (Oh and I can’t resist mentioning here that the -san on Fuji-san (Mt. Fuji) is not the same as the honorific –san that you put on people’s names. San is another reading of the kanji for ‘mountain’. I hate it when people go, ‘Oh, how cute, they put a –san on Mt. Fuji!) /rant
But if there are two things I’ve learned about being a slave, they would have to be these:
1. A collar does not a slave make
2. The outside is rarely a reflection of within
So I think I’d rather be correct on the inside and FAIL on the outside than the other way around. If I know and accept my place and have internalized that I am a slave, is that not enough?
Ideally, I know I’d be all demure and submissive, not making eye contact and saying nothing but, ‘Yes, Master’ or ‘More please Master’, but I need a little more interaction in my life.
I’m a slave, not dumb and dumber.