Two things

I was reading a newspaper blog the other day where the writer introduced the “Two Things” theory. Basically it works on the premise that for any subject, there are really only two things that you need to know to sum it up.

For example:

Pornography:
1. Cable guy, oral, oral, doggy, ass, facial. Next scene, repeat.
2. No matter how weird, someone will have a website dedicated to your fetish online.

I’ve been thinking about this for the past few days and I’m fairly sure there are a lot of things in bdsm that can be summed up in just two things.

Gags

1. Remove with care (breathing holes are excellent receptacles for spit).

2. If you can see the white of her eyes, you’ve put it on too tight.

Slaves

1. Subs are not slaves.

2. Definitions are flexible.

Crops

1. Horses don’t like them.

2. Slaves like them better than canes.

Masters

1. Grumpy old men have peculiar ways.

2. There’s no pleasing them in all ways, all of the time.

Slavery

1. Is over-rated.

2. Can be harder than it appears.

Shibari

1. Every domly one thinks they can do it.

2. Domly ones can rarely do it.

Permanent collars

1. Make it hard to wash your neck.

2. Allow you to deduct 350g grams from your weight on the scale.

Piercings

1. Are good in theory.

2. A 10 gauge needle looks like a nail.

Bruises

1. Appear magically on parts of your body from injuries you don’t remember.

2. Never appear after solid beatings.

Suspension

1. What your domly one leaves you in while he decides on your play party outfit.

2. Always check anchor points.

If you have any more to add, please leave a comment and I’ll add them to the list!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Two things

Add yours

  1. Haaaaaa. Just what I needed to get going on a Sunday morning.

    Absolutely classic. Thanks for that, I agree with every one!
    Have a relaxing, enjoyable Sunday.
    xx milla

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: