…you’re not feeling very slavey?
Do you meditate in your slave corner until you feel the warm glow of being owned?
Assume the Nadu position and ruminate on how well-watered you are like a good kajira?
Or do you go ‘meh’ and slap on another dvd, ’cause it’s just another ol’ day in unslavey-ville?
If you guessed that last one is me then go and reward yourself by upping the size of your butt-plug. Go on! You deserve it.
There have been a few comments directed towards Master and I of late along the lines of, ‘You’re doing it wrong’ and often more specifically it’s, ‘He is doing it wrong’. I know it’s very tempting to side with the subbly one especially if you’re a subbly one yourself when you read that perhaps things are a bit rocky in an M/s relationship, but it’s not always the domly one’s fault.
Yeah, he can say he’s the captain of the vessel and if the crew mutiny then it’s his fault, but we ain’t talking about getting a boat from A to B, were talking about, in essence, stripping away another person’s independence and rebuilding them from the ground up. This involves some pretty serious emotional manipulation and getting into someone else’s head, and quite frankly, there is only so much a dominant can do.
Because unless you happen to be dealing with a programmable robot, ultimately, you cannot make anyone do anything.
You can coerce, threaten, influence, pressure, bully or try to force someone to do something, but due to the simple fact that a consensual slave is another human being, everything they do, they do of their own free will.
They must consciously chose to do whatever it is that the dominant wants them to do.
And if they don’t do that, the dominant is stuffed. There is nothing a dominant can do to ‘make’ them do it if they don’t chose to do it.
A fairly important part of being a slave is, I think, maintaining the headspace, which in turn allows you to be more ‘malleable’ (ready and willing to do what he wants). To achieve this, you have to live in the M/s ‘bubble’ you have created around you by, quite often, living and breathing the role. If you can successfully do this, the lines between the ‘real world’ and the ‘M/s bubble’ can become very, very blurry.
And a nice side effect of this is you feel well-watered 😉
It’s so easy for the M/s bubble to burst though. If you’re not constantly feeding and strengthening it with your belief, it will wane and waver until it eventually pops. That’s when you find yourself wearing 6-inch stilettos, with a lump of metal around your neck going, ‘wtf am I doing?’
I’ve been pretty lax at feeding my bubble of late and so I’m seeing the pink elephant in the room and the naked old codger strutting around like an emperor. I need to get my slave cap back on and get back into role. My problem is that I’m just so meh about it all at the moment that I’m struggling to just get started.
I could offer up a thousand excuses like ‘It’s cold and I’m in hibernation’ or ‘I’m pre/mid/post plague’ or even ‘I don’t want to!!’, but the bottom line is that I chose to be a slave, so I have to do what I’m here to do, no ifs, buts or maybes.
I actually feel a little bit like I did before I started my diet. Prior to the day I actually made the commitment to lose weight I was ‘comforted’ by the fact that if I really wanted to lose the weight, I could at any time – it was just a matter of doing it. So I kept putting it off, and putting it off – not really willing to make the necessary commitment to actually get me started.
Then one day I happened to step on the scales and was utterly and totally rocked to the core by the numbers I saw there. The next day I promptly signed up to calorieking and haven’t looked back since.
Like my ‘I can lose weight at any time’ days, I’ve kind of got my slavery in stand-by. It’s there, waiting to roar into life, but I’ve lost my spark. Meanwhile, the bubble grows dimmer and dimmer.
Somehow I’ve got to shake myself out of Mexicoma*…but I’m thinking tequila won’t help.
* bonus points to anyone who can name the movie this line is from!!