Or International Comment on Every Blog you Read Day.
I swear I am the biggest drive-by-blog-reader there ever was. I have 62 blogs in my feed reader and another 30 odd bookmarks – not including the blogs I read on my lj friends page. Sadly, even though I get so much entertainment and thought-provoking reading from so many people on a nearly daily basis, I’m very,very bad at leaving comments.
Sometimes of course I have a total of five minutes to check my email while eating my breakfast before I have to race out the door to catch the bus, but mostly I don’t comment because I don’t know what to say. Some people just sum-up things so nicely that I read, get that warm good blog glow and promptly leave.
So to make things a little bit easier, I thought I’d compile a little list of ‘cheat comments’ that you can leave instead of having to think up your own every time. (Teachers will recognise this as the old-school-report-cheat-list-trick where you rotate the same fifteen comments on the 300 or so kiddie reports that you have to write…you don’t think they actually sit there and think of a comment for each little darling do you??? Well, only for their pets…)
1. I love what you write. I want to have your baby.
2. I love your blog, but we need more porn!
3. I love your blog, but your ass really does look like Stewie’s head.
4. You have amazing spell-checking skills.
5. You really need to pull your finger out of your ass and show us more porn.
6. You have definite potential, but seem to be distracted by the blogs around you. If you applied yourself, greater results could be achieved.
7. Can I have some of whatever you’re on???
8. You keep saying that you don’t think you’re funny and guess what? You’re not! (But I do find you funny when I’m half-asleep/hungover/not in control of my bodily functions.)
9. You started out with promise, but a lack of attention to detail has seen poor work in some posts. Hopefully a more consistent effort in the second half of the blog year will yield better results.
10. You are a pleasure to read and put 100% effort into every word you write. Your pretty borders and layout has earned your commendations from all readers and I look forward to having you in my feed reader in the future.
11. You rock!
12. You call this a blog? This (insert own blog link here) is a blog.
13. *coughs, struggling to breathe* Must…have…more…porn.
14. You’re a tool sometimes, but I luffs ya.
15. Can I join your fanclub? What?You don’t have one? Well, can I start one and set up an online shop to sell coasters and pens and then we can have you write a book on how to live the lifestyle titled something like “Don’t buy candle holders, just stick them in me! Slavery for the frugal-minded”.
Go forth and comment people! And even if you don’t use one of these handy phrases, a few words to let those hard-working bloggers know you appreciate their efforts will go down a treat.
If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it in cyberspace!
© a subtle slavegirl