I always find it interesting when I have one of those rare occasions that a butt plug doesn’t hurt. I don’t know why some days are good and some days are bad as there doesn’t seem to be a pattern i.e. no amount of ‘training’ makes a bad butt day good, and a good butt day can come totally out of the blue. All I know is that every now and then, I don’t mind having something up my butt.
Last Friday was my good butt day (you’ll notice that I’m trying to stay away from the depressing topic of my hair, so I’m distracting myself with discussing butt) so when I slipped the pony tail in and pulled the ballet boots on, all was good with the world.
(pony tail and cunt rings – now with more cunt hair!)
Master ‘surprised’ me by posting some pics of the said tail and boots on his blog. Saturday morning I woke up and headed to his bed, only to be told that I needed to go and read his blog before I could access the “Master bed”. So I opened up his blog and there were five ‘uncensored’ pics of my butt plastered across it. It was the first time in the 2+ years he has been writing that he has added pics. I had a feeling when I moved his blog over to WordPress last week that something like that would happen. Now I’m living in fear of what other butt-ugly pics he is going to post.
He had a comment left on his blog the other day along the lines of ‘allowing your slave to censor her pics is like asking the cd player what cds you can play’. I think quite a few people miss the point that I only have the freedom to do as I do within the boundaries he gives me. If he specifically told me to post a particular pic or not write about a particular topic then I wouldn’t have any choice but to obey.
And even though he has the final say, I still have an opinion about things. I will still tell him what I want or what I do and don’t like, but whether he choses to *indulge* me by going along with my suggestions is another completely different story. I think it’s when someone isn’t allowed to have an opinion that you start getting into dangerous territory a.k.a. this-girl-is-going-to-blow-any-minute-kind-of-stress-build-up-territory.
To me, it’s very important that I have a voice, that I can let him know how I feel about things. I also need to know that he is listening – not just hearing my words. I believe he needs all that information in order to be the best owner he can possibly be.
But as I said, whether he actually makes choices that are in keeping with my wishes is another story. Sometimes it may be that he just happens to choose what I would of chosen and I’m all happy because it kind of feels like I’m getting what I want, and sometimes he just does whatever the hell he wants regardless of how I feel about it, because that’s what he wants and yeah, I’ve just got to suck it up (the reality of which can sometimes be hot with the whole ‘no control angle’ and sometimes just really suck…)
So I started out by talking about butt and ended up discussing floormats vs slaves…I think it’s definitely time I went and cooked dinner…chickpea and chicken curry by the way.