There is one thing that I really, really hate and that is being treated like I’m stupid.
And there is one way to easily treat me like I’m stupid and that is to take away my ability to function as an adult.
Now I might be going out on a limb here by announcing this, but here goes:
“I don’t like being told how to live my life!!”
I do, however, need to differentiate here between being told ‘how to live my life’ and being told ‘what to do’ because one makes me want to smack the offending person around the head a few times and the other makes me melt in all the right places. It’s a distinction that seems a bit confusing on the surface, but underneath, it’s really quite simple to understand.
Simply put, I know ‘how to live my life’. It’s a skill I’ve been honing for the last 32 years and includes careers choices, lifestyle choices and those daily things that become habitualized, like what time I go to bed, what I eat for breakfast and when it’s time to get a pap smear. As an adult functioning in society, I know my limitations and what is best for me. I know when I’m not feeling well and should take things a bit easy and I know all about diet, exercise and not walking down dark streets by myself at night. A lot of this stuff is just commonsense and when people try to tell me how to do any of this, I really do feel like they are treating me like a child, which in turn makes me want to get vocal and hit things.
‘What to do’ however, is a slightly different matter. I feel it’s all about service and serving my Master. Being told ‘what to do’ is more like receiving directions on how to be more pleasing to him than being told what is right and wrong in my life. More importantly, being told to ‘suck cock’ makes me feel as far from being a child as I could possibly be (and we don’t want to go down that child route because then I’ll be thinking that you think I’m stupid and shit will hit the fan.)
Tell me to go to bed and I’ll start thinking you’re trying to be my father.
Tell me to crawl to your bed like the bitch I am and I’ll think of you as my Master.
I don’t think being told ‘what to do’ has to necessarily be limited to the bedroom, but obviously that is a place where it’s much easier to make the distinction between ‘how to live my life’ and ‘what to do’; as it’s very rare to be asked if you’ve brushed your teeth when you’re tied to the bed.
I guess to substitute another word for ‘how to live my life’ it would be ‘nagging’. I don’t like to be nagged and so I try not to nag Master too much. I fully believe that he is an adult in control of his life and therefore it’s not my place to tell him to go and get his blood tests done (it’s been months!!!) or buy new clothes or whatever. It’s not that I don’t care about it, I just believe that he’s been doing ‘his thing’ well enough for 51 years and therefore why should I have a right to say anything to him.
Similarly, no-one has been me for longer than I have, therefore don’t tell me how to live my life, just tell me what to do, ok?
(Written in response to the delightful discussion over at kaya’s blog and not because I really have anything to rant about 🙂 )