Awkward

Anyone else find it hard to comment on domly one’s blogs?

In fact, I find it hard to even exchange a few jovial lines in an email with someone if I know they’re of the domly orientation.

I find it hard to interact with them regardless of the fact that they are not my domly one, they’re not personally known to me and often they don’t even live in the same country that I do.

But a fellow ‘sister of the subhood’?  Once I’ve read a few blogs, left some comments on their iFet wall or even just exchanged a few words in a chat room with them, I’ll soon after be making jokes, adding them to my list of ‘best-est friends eva’ and sometimes giving them deep and meaningful advice.

Simply because I perceive them as being on the ‘same level’ as me, whereas domly ones are on a ‘different level’ and somehow ‘untouchable’.

Generally, I don’t ‘act submissively’ around anyone who isn’t my owner (and yeah before anyone leaves me a comment, I can hear the choruses of, “but you don’t even act submissively around your owner!!!” across cyberspace.) As I was saying…I don’t call other domly ones ‘sir’ or ‘mistress’ or anything like that, but I do know that I will go out of my way to avoid having a casual conversation with them once I know which way they are inclined – because sitting there chatting with them makes me feel ‘funny’, like my words aren’t important or something. I start listening to myself rambling and think, “What the fuck am I saying? Me?? Slavegirlie me.”

And if they’ve ever had the misfortune (??) to have beaten my ass, that makes casual conversation even trickier. I mean, how do you discuss the weather with someone who has been up close and personal with your ass?

When I first started living with Master I felt totally awkward living with him. For the first few weeks, I just didn’t know how to talk to him because I had come here as his slave, we were M/s from the moment we came face to face and I felt totally insignificant in his domly one aura.

It took a few more months before I relaxed and could have a joke with him and few more months after that before I became accustomed to his particular ways and stopped getting teary every time he raised his voice (I have never and will never like being shouted at, but at least I don’t turn into a blubbering mess anymore…)

Now we discuss everything from our toilet habits to those embarrassing little sexual fantasies I have buried deep down inside and everything in between. We joke and laugh and share deep longings for really good food and unaffordable metal restraints. We also sometimes yell at each other and tell one another to fuck off.

He is my Master and my soul mate.

All I need to work on now is his taste in music 😉

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Awkward

Add yours

  1. I find that I don’t deal well with other domly-types when they are aware of my orientation. I generally feel like they expect me to act subimissive towards them when I am ONLY submissive towards MY domly one, and all others are basically treated as if I am their equal.

    I’m probably just defective, LOL. People are almost always shocked when they learn that I am a collared girl.

    1. “I generally feel like they expect me to act subimissive towards them”

      Maybe that’s why I feel awkward too – like they are expecting me to act in a particular way and I don’t.

      Lol@defective. If you’re defective then I am too!

  2. watching you both today, i saw a comfortable companionship full of mutual respect for each other, i think over time people do become comfy with each other as the days roll into weeks and into years, at the beginning you have no clue how things will pan out and are both testing the water, things are bound to change.

    i enjoyed today and im sure our friend did too 🙂

  3. Hey chica,

    I felt the same way when I met M. Had I not known I could have walked up and said hello like I would to anyone else, but I just stood there like a deer in headlights… O.o
    It’s not as though i’m a deeply into D/s as some either, so that was an interesting moment for me. I felt all *funny* inside, like i’d eaten warm jello.

    Also…check your mail…My schedule got changed so I have today off for a catch up if you’re available.

    1. Chica,

      I’m still laughing about you calling from the driveway to see if it was okay to park behind M’s car!!!! I don’t think it gets any more submissive than that 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: