Master and I finally got to watch The Pet on the weekend (thanks carina for providing us with the dvd!)
I haven’t seen a ‘kinky’ video since I last watched Secretary so you can imagine that I was getting all juicy at the prospect of having something that would run longer than my usual 25 second free porn fare.
The dvd for some reason didn’t like our dvd player, but fortunately we’ve got no fewer than five devices that will play dvds in the house, so we knew that eventually one of them would work and it did.
And we watched.
And I cringed.
At the newbie pet-to-be girlie sitting on the floor in a restaurant as her I’ve-only-talked-to-you-for-ten-minutes-and-I-have-no-idea-who-the-hell-you-are owner-to-be hand fed her.
At the naked girlie crawling on her knees across concrete and rock for several days.
At the naked girlie sleeping in a cage smaller than the width of my stewie-ass that had bars on the bottom.
And I said,
“Pfffffft…..!!! As if that would happen!”
I’ve got this problem where I can’t just sit and watch a movie anymore. I have to sit there, pick it apart, point out all the inconsistencies and somehow pass down my judgement on it as though it’s a documentary, when it’s really just a movie and I should be able to accept that.
I do it with movies, books and even blogs. Because I guess, unless I see unbelievable stuff happening in front of my eyes, in the flesh, I find it hard to accept.
But now I’m beginning to wonder whether I don’t believe it simply because *I* can’t do it, and therefore don’t want to accept that anyone else could do it either.
Let’s take the sleeping in the cage example. I’ve spent a sum total of one whole night in my cage because after 8hrs or so I was so cramped up and aching and totally pissed off that I was almost in tears. That is how utterly uncomfortable it was for me. I might add that my cage is about 3 times the size of the smaller-than-my-stewie-ass cage in The Pet and my cage has two inches of foam on the bottom and I had a blanket and a pillow in there.
How can the naked girlie in The Pet be totally butt naked and contorted up ala cirque du soleil, while laying on bars with cold marble underneath and still be happy and chirpy in the morning???
I don’t think I could do it. But does that mean it is impossible?
I see and hear of people doing a lot of things that I feel would be beyond the scope of my ability (being that I’m a slave and all, I’m not supposed to say that I *can’t* do them…apparently that’s bad form for someone without any limits 🙂 ) Blood and needles and things make me squeamish. I also believe that forks are for eating (sorry, couldn’t resist!) But these are things that I really can’t imagine myself ever doing, so I don’t have a, ‘That isn’t possible!’ opinion about them because…well…I’ve never done them and therefore really don’t know.
But when it comes to things I have done or have experienced (perhaps in some other way or in a similar way) I feel like I have the right to pass judgement based on what I felt and thought. Thus the, “Pfffffft…..!!! As if that would happen!”
I might be tempted to label my feelings as slave pride; like I’ve somehow made a yardstick in my mind based on what I can do/endure and anything that exceeds that is automatically put in the ‘impossible’ bin.
I’m guessing this sort of thing is also bad form for a slave. But how does an A+++, over-achiever, endurance-orientated slave overcome this?
Are forks the only answer???!!??