It cuts like a knife

Some time on Sunday afternoon I jumped on top of Master as he lay on the couch (which is just something I like to do every now and then when I’m feeling ‘lonely’), kissed him a few times and asked him how he was feeling. He looked up at me and said ever-so-casually,

“I was thinking about advertising for a new owner for you on Fetlife this morning.”

Then he said,

“I thought it was about time.”

The first thing I thought was, ‘WTF??? You could of at least heated up that blade before you thrust it through my chest and twisted it a few times just to make sure you did the job right!!!’ but what I actually said was,

“Oh…so you’re bored of me?”

He had a bit of an enigmatic look on his face which made me very unsure of whether he was joking or not. I got a bit teary and waited for his answer:

“I just thought it was time to get me a real Asian slut.”

And then I knew he was joking. But even now, two days later, I can’t seem to stop thinking about what caused him to say it. You know what they say, where there’s smoke, there’s a slavegirl with her fire mojo.

Recently he’s been talking a lot about who he would get as my new owner when it became time for us to part ways. At the moment he’s very much enamoured with the thought of me having a female owner. Because, he says, ‘they’d be crueler’.

I have no doubt that a woman would be crueler. I’ve always thought that women make the best sadists and the best interrogators. Women give birth to small human beings out their twat and deal with blood and gore on a monthly basis so they know you can always take more – even if you think you can’t.

While the cruelty part disturbs me, the whole girl-on-girl part disturbs me more. When I made my first ever collar me profile, I said that I was hetero-flexible, which then turned into hetero-curious a few months later, and then finally I made the firm decision that I was straight. Plain, simple, straight.

I started out hetero-flexible, because I just assumed that that was what was ‘expected’ of a slave. I assumed that on occasion, some girl-on-girl action would be required so I wrote my orientation accordingly. But over time, I’ve thought I’m not. I can’t even bring myself to imagine eating out another girl’s pussy or even sucking on some breasts.

Dick? yes. Tits? no.

I don’t care about what orientation other people are, it’s just not for me. In fact, I had a very entertaining conversation with my mother last night about her hunt for the perfect vibrator/dildo and her new girlfriend who had ‘mysteriously’ brought over rubber gloves to celebrate her birthday. I think everyone is entitled to find someone who makes them happy, and if that happens to be girl/girl, boy/boy, boy/girl then who cares? I’m just saying, it’s not for me.

“It’s not for me” is a bit of a problem declaration though, when you’re a slave with no rights and choices…

So I’m kind of praying that Master isn’t thinking about getting rid of me any time soon and that I can continue to be what I’m happy at being – a cock whore.

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15 thoughts on “It cuts like a knife

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  1. Women are very much crueler than men. But I don’t think that your master will be getting rid of you anytime soon, he was messing with your head-which is fun too! Now to add an Asian slave to your little group might be interesting.

    1. I’ve always thought that the traditional roles of men as ‘protectors’ and social conditioning not to ‘hurt women’ restricts men in many ways, whereas women have no such restraints and that’s why they are more cruel.

      Messing with my head is not fun! It hurts! Lol.

  2. This might be a dumb question (lots of mine are) but… Why does he (or both of you) have the idea that there WILL be a time to part ways that will be expected and planned and amicable enough that he would spend time and energy finding a new Owner for you? The idea of you having to wonder if he was joking (meaning there was the possibility he was serious) and the phrase “Recently he’s been talking a lot about who he would get as my new owner when it became time for us to part ways.” Well, maybe I’m way off base, but I read that as you both thinking there will be (or could easily be) a time when you’d part ways. I mean, I know there are circumstances that would cause Antonio and I to part ways – death, for one, or some unforeseen conflict that makes us not want to be together anymore. That’s not what confuses me – I get that people split up. But I can’t imagine an AMICABLE parting of ways that would INCLUDE him still being my Owner. If something big enough happened that we didn’t want to be with each other any more, I can’t imagine he’d say “Here is another Owner, hope you two get along, now get out of my life because I hate you and I hate your face.” (Melodrama, I know, but do you understand what I’m asking? Do I understand what I’m asking?) I just… I don’t get it… Is this something I should know, and just haven’t read your blog long enough?

    ~Chloe, perpetually confused…

    1. I think you’re thinking of ‘breaking up’ in boyfriend/girlfriend terms. Our relationship, as long as I am a slave, doesn’t allow me to ‘break up’ with him.

      Master and I are realists in that we understand and accept that nothing is forever – people change and evolve, people get older, things happen. There will come a time when we will part ways and my choice to be a slave means that I’m still a slave whether Master is my owner or not – so I don’t have any choice about who will be my next owner. It’s his duty to sell or give me to someone who will become my next owner and if I don’t like that, the only choice I have is to choose not to be a slave anymore.

      Does that make sense?

      1. Okay, I see what you’re saying… But part of it still doesn’t make sense, no. (Sorry, I’m an idiot.)

        I’m left with MORE questions! Yay!

        I guess the part I don’t really understand is how it is his duty to do anything once you’ve decided to part ways. I can understand if he WANTED to – say he wanted to benefit financially from selling you or something.

        But… It’s not actually a DUTY, is it? It’s only a duty insofar as he’s said “I’ll do it” which, as we all know when it comes to Masters, only means something until he says, “Actually, no, I won’t, so deal.”

        So, like, what it if was going to take a while, be a hassle, you had to continue living under his roof, etc. If things went south for a reason that created animosity, he could just decided “This is a pain in the ass, and I really don’t want you around, you’re done, goodbye.”

        In that case, you would find a new owner on your own, correct? Even as a slave, you’d go on the hunt for someone by yourself, no?

        I guess I’m likening it to say, working for a boss. You answer to the boss, you do everything for the boss – he’s in charge. And if he decides he no longer wants to employ you? He’s under NO obligation or duty to find you a new boss. Sure, if he feels you are still valuable, but not in your current position, under his command, me might transfer you to a different location, division, etc. to a new boss. But it’s sure not his duty.

        (Obviously not a perfect analogy because a boss is even less Master-like than a Master, and is legally obligated to do a LOT… Yet it’s STILL not his duty to do a darn thing with you once you are not of use to him anymore.)

        Does any of THAT make sense, lol?

        ~Chloe, making less and less sense as the days go by…

  3. i cant imagine how you felt when those words came from Him- but i honestly think He was teasing you… its very plain to see how much He adores and loves you…. as His slave and as a woman.
    hugs,
    Hisflower

  4. There are those who are utterly dedicated to being whoever they are that they will do whatever it takes to be it, even if they don’t enjoy whatever it takes. In the case of, say, a straight female slave, they would suck on another woman’s pussy or tits if ordered to do so, or even allow themselves to be “sold” to a female mistress, even though they would never do such a thing if they had any choice in the matter. Because that’s what they really want the most – to not have a choice.

    Most people, slaves or otherwise, are simply not that dedicated. You’re obviously not. Your enjoyment in being a slave involves more than just obeying anyone no matter what. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

    1. Yeah, there are a lot of people more devoted in many ways to what they do than I am. I’m just me and I know what I like and don’t like.

      It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t do something I didn’t like simple because I didn’t like it, though. And just because I didn’t like it doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t like that fact that I’m doing something I don’t like – in fact, sometimes I like it.

      Confused yet? 😉

  5. I hate this kind of “head-fuck” – you never quite know whether they mean it.

    And it idoes cut deep – never quite being forgotten – maybe that is the whole idea!

    xx

  6. I was reading the first bit of this blog out loud to Master, as there is this little asian girl at the local chinese take away that is crushing on Him something fierce (giving free beers and whatnot), so its a common joke between us that He might want to give the asian a try.

    After I read the bit about “I thought it was about time i get a real asian slut” and then explained the joke to Him…He said…

    “OOoooo can we apply!?”

    *blinks* come again?

    and then He laughs and says “remember, my coffees taste better without spit in them and you’ll be tasting all my food first now” as He slowly tucks His legs under Him so I can’t reach anything vital from my perch on the floor…. >.>

    1. When Master talks about getting himself an asian slut I know he’s joking and stuff, but I do also feel the strongest pangs of jealousy and start thinking about whether he’d notice some spit in his cappuccino 😉

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