Pink elephants

Thank you everyone for the warm wishes on our anniversary! We appreciated all the comments 🙂

Along with living with the grumpy man and his particular ways Master for three years, I’ve been living with a lump of metal around my neck for almost the same period (3 years minus 10 days to be exact). It’s quite mind-boggling to think I’ve been wearing this thing around my neck for three whole years and I’ve only had two comments from random strangers (two different shop assistants) and three comments from people I was on a talking-to-basis with.

Even after all this time, I’m still very conscious on a day-to-day basis of it, but I guess that’s what Master was hoping to achieve by putting it on me – not allowing me to forget that I’m different from everyone else because I’m a slave. It’s very hard to keep someone in that headspace if they function as a normal member of society and work etc. He has always been adamant that it’s staying on i.e. “I will bury you in that collar” because it’s one of the few tools he can use to help me believe that I am what I am. That belief that I’m a slave is a pretty damn important thing for the whole M/s situation to function and it’s when you struggle with the belief that things start to go south.

Chloe asked me a question (*waves to Chloe – thanks for asking!*) the other day about the whole Master-finding -me-my-next-owner situation that would occur if Master was no longer going to be my owner. I explained it as it’s his duty to ‘pass me on’ and find someone to take up my leash with me having no say in it. She questioned whether that is what actually would happen if we hated each others guts or I decided to up and leave or if he just didn’t want to.

The short answer to her question is no, the duty wouldn’t actually exist if that is how things ended, but at this stage, I have to believe that that is what would happen. As she points out, I could just get the hell out of here and choose myself a new owner at any time, but I’m choosing to believe that I don’t have that option available to me to create the illusion that I am a slave and exist only on the whims of my owner. Like my collar, the belief that I’m property and therefore will be given or sold to my next owner helps me stay in the slave headspace. It’s a tool that we use to help me exist as a slave.

I’ve talked a little bit before about suspension of disbelief (i.e. choosing to believe) and how it is pretty integral to consensual slavery. In reality, I do have rights and choices and if I wanted to, I could go out to the kitchen cupboard, take the allen key and remove my collar right now. But I don’t. I choose to believe that it can’t come off, that I don’t have the right to remove it and I’ve kept believing that for three years – although there have definitely been times that I’ve wanted more than anything to have it off.

Master often says that a choice that cannot be exercised is not really a choice and that is how he explains my ‘no rights, no choices’ existence. I, however, don’t really subscribe to his way of thinking, because I know inside myself I still have the choice and I could exercise it at any time. I’m not so ‘far gone’ into slavery that I no longer have the option to exercise choices. The reality is that there are always lots of pink elephants in the room and I’m just choosing not to see them.

Maybe my collar is also a pink elephant that people choose not to see or maybe most people just like to keep their thoughts about my ‘unusual necklace’ to themselves.

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9 thoughts on “Pink elephants

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  1. Hello K
    three years i can not say three longe years because the time has just shot by. now that you two arei in love, yes you are, my wife said so and she knows every thing o k
    and that is really really good. Going back three years or so your master would write
    about what he was going to do with you or to you and he did more or less. one of the things he said he was going todo, was to share youwith other men of his chice from time to time in the way you wanted to be used, from acage on a lead on all fours never to see the man or maybe the woman who used you. under your masters supervision you would never see the one who used you and you would be safe now that love is all around can i ask you k dose your master still share you with others of his chice or has love changed ever thing . Best of luck to you k and your master and your blogs are just fine ben

    1. We did have a few trials with ‘UBO’ (use by others) but the logistics of it out-weighed the realities I think. Firstly, it’s very difficult to find people who are willing to come and use me with the limits involved i.e. Master has to be present, can’t be a weirdo, have to be clean and disease-free etc. I think for a lot of guys it’s daunting to have to ‘perform’ while someone is sitting there watching you and taking photos.

  2. hey sweetie, i stumbled across your page (via my Master) and had a quiet chuckle in regards to your feelings when you first met your Master. I’m 14 days away from being with mine permanently(i have met Him before tho) and i can totally understand the emotions! congrats on the anniversary!

    i had a convo with Master the other day about my future collar and He was saying that it might not be worn at all time…i told Him i wanted to because i’m always His, every day, all day…so i should wear His collar every day all the time too. i think there is some concern about comments from public peanut galleries on it but from your post and others, im noticing no one really pays that much attention 🙂

    anyways, ive enjoyed reading and finding i’m not so different to other slaves worldwide. 🙂

    1. i have worn my steel collar for several years. It is identical to k’s collar i think. i have had a few comments over the years, but most people don’t even notice. It has only been off for medical reasons a couple of times. My first collar had an obvious lock, which did not draw much attention, but the lock was always in the way. A few weeks ago my neck was sore, but i got over it and did not remove the collar. i wear my collar with pride, and quit worrying about what other people would think a long time ago. i think you are totally correct to want to wear it 24/7.

    2. if your master insisted that you dont wear the collar all the time would it make you feel less his? there is in my opinion way too much emphisis on the collar and not so much on the dynamics for many, i wonder if collars are more important?

      1. Less His? Hmm I don’t know about that, I know even now, without a collar that I am always and only His. What I like about the collar is its a symbol, a physical thing I can touch, see, feel at all times. A constant pleasant reminder that I belong to Him. Before I had my own laptop I used to carry around a USB memory stick that had my encrypted messenger, email and browser at all times. That was my constant reminder, a leash almost. Its just comforting to have a physical reminder i guess.

        1. thanks for replying sephani paige, i was curious because so many i see are in such a rush for the collar and it gets me wondering if its the dynamic that is important or the collar, i can so understand its symbolism and know for a few that its a real symbol of the M/s dynamic but with velcro collars going on and off at a rapid increase, i wondered if thats all that matters (to get and wear that collar) and please im not saying to you here that i think you only see it as the important factor because im not, i just wanted to get a different perspective from you.

      2. The most important collars are those around my mind and heart. If Master did not want me to wear a neck collar all the time, i certainly would not feel less a slave. To us, a collar is a symbol. The real M/s relationship and dynamic exists in our hearts and minds. We have worked over the years to built a solid foundation for our relationship, and continue to make adjustments to keep the relationship healthy. i would submit that a collar no more makes a Ms relationship than a wedding ring makes a good marriage. I think you are totally correct in that it is the dynamic that is important. In both cases they serve as mere symbols that may or may not represent something.

        A physical collar means little if the relationship has not been developed , and matured over time. In this age of rapid and instant communication, “master’ and ‘slave’ relationships come and go quickly. In this type of almost instant collaring/ decollaring, a ring around around a slave’s neck can means little more than beads won at a carnival.

        tavia

        1. tavia i very much get your perspective and agree 100%, the dynamic is in the heart and mind and the collar is the symbol.

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