Out of the chrysalis

I’m in an irate mood. One of those ones where everything just grates on your nerves. I thought I was sending out enough vibes to the universe for Master not to ruffle my feathers the wrong way, but no…he still felt the urge to drag his fingernails down my proverbial chalkboard.

It’s been a while since I had a good vent/rant as I’ve been in la-la land recently, writing about M/s fluff and exercising my brain, but it is definitely time for me to have a good, long, hard old-fashioned purge. So here goes:

Master has this absolutely, positively annoying habit of 99.9% of the time phrasing requests as post-failure demands as in, he doesn’t say, “Get me a coffee” or “Can I have a coffee?” he says, “Where’s my coffee bitch???” with the tone of an annoyed customer who ordered one an hour ago and it hasn’t arrived.

Substitute the word coffee with about ten other things throughout the day and you’ll begin to understand how a woman in an irate mood, can begin to plot the slow painful death of her owner.

I’m sure he thinks it’s funny or cute, but god help me, I’m this close to slapping him somewhere the next time he says it because I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

“Where’s my breakfast bitch?”

“Where’s my remote controller bitch?’

“Where’s my blanket bitch?”

Even writing this I can feel my blood pressure starting to rise.

Sometimes, in exasperation, I’ll ask him,

“Did you ask for it?” knowing full well that he didn’t.

And he’ll answer, “No, but you’re supposed to be anticipating my needs.”

It’s definitely one of my buttons and he knows it – the fucker.

I’ve always hated being entrusted with a job and then being questioned about why it wasn’t done or what happened when things were out of my control. But the one thing I hate above everything else is being accused of not doing my job, when I have done it. That’s why his demanding, questioning tone puts my teeth on edge because how can I fail to do something when I haven’t even been told what to do??? That just annoys the fucking crap out of me. Really. In.a. MAJOR.way.

They don’t teach you how to deal with shit like this at slave school (although obviously they teach it at dom school and Master excelled at the subject) and after three years of swallowing the bitter pill that is endurance, I’m pretty damn close to breaking point.

If I was Master’s girlfriend instead of his slave, this would be point where I would be screeching like a fishwife at him. But I’m not and so we have Reason #365 of why it is difficult to be a slave:

You can’t tell your owner to, “STOP FUCKING DOING THAT FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, MAN!”

Being that Master and I are two different people and all, I realise that we’re going to do things that annoy each other. Just off the top of my head, I’m sure my constant Japan talk and lack of enthusiasm in boot-wearing rub him up the wrong way, while his ‘post-failure-demand-requests’ and ridiculously loud sneezes annoy me.  That coming together of different habits and customs when you live with someone is a really, really big thing.

Think about it, if you’re not a morning person and never in your life have you been able to wake up before 8am, but your owner is a morning person and gets up at 5am everyday, as a slave, you, in the blink of an eye, have to become a morning person too. This may be after 10, 20 or 30 years of doing what works for you. When you live together in an M/s relationship, you’re suddenly thrust into another person’s way of life and you have to accept it and live with it.

Personally, this is what I think breaks more M/s relationships than anything else; it’s not problems with the play or the roles or anything M/s related, it’s simple things like he sleeps on your side of the bed or blows his nose in the shower.

Seemingly unimportant things that are nothing more than the breath of air off a butterfly’s wings.


11 thoughts on “Out of the chrysalis

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  1. OMG! I am laughing so hard right now…not at you of course but at this:
    “They don’t teach you how to deal with shit like this at slave school (although obviously they teach it at dom school and Master excelled at the subject)”

    Seriously! That is soooo true. I as a sub, cannot read minds, but we get locked in those staring contests where he looks at me like WELL?? I look back like WHAT? How the hell should I know what you need at that moment…at least drop a damn hint like it’s cold or I am hungry. For all I know he’s thinking about the game that’s going to be on later that day. Then comes the:
    J: Are you ready yet?
    Me: for what?
    J: to go
    Me: I wasn’t aware we were leaving
    J: you should have been…

    SHUT.THE.HELL.UP!!! Good lord if I could read your mind I would have been ready.

    I feel for you, as do a lot of subs/slaves I am sure. Good thing you have a blog or your Master may go missing one day.

    1. Those out of no-where questions are so infuriating, aren’t they?

      Sometimes I think they just have a big case of stoopid and should try putting themselves in our shoes for a while!

  2. It is too bad that Masters and slaves do not switch places for about a week once every year and assume the other’s mannerisms and personality. lol.

    1. I’m totally with you on that tavia! But maybe a day every month because I don’t think I could wait a whole year to extract my revenge 😉

  3. I too have to admit a chuckled, I feel for you completely! I shared your reason #365 of why its hard to be a slave with Master and you know what He said?

    M: *gasp* everything we do is perfect! you just don’t know it till we explain it to you! *big grin*

    oh really!? like when I’m at work and on a short 15min break so I use yahoo messenger on my phone to talk to Him. Knowing that i receive all my messages as texts and when I am trying to reply to Him….GETTING A MILLION TEXTS PER MIN INTERFERES WITH A PROMPT REPLY!!!!

    *deep breath* I can’t count the number of times I’ve simply set my phone down and counted to 10 cuz screaming at the phone does just as much good as reminding Him I can’t reply……

    at least we know we are not alone! slaves around the world sometimes feel the need to strangle their Masters but that fact that we don’t is proof that…that…someone help me out here? lol!

    1. I’d say I feel the need to strangle him quite often – but I feel the same way about a lot of people: the smelly, noisy people on the bus, the dickheads I see on Fetlife etc.

      Everyone does annoying things and just because he’s my owner doesn’t make the sun shine out of his ass and everything ok. I think a lot of people (including the owners themselves) tend to forget this.

      No, you’re definitely not alone 😉

  4. blows his nose in the shower….christ i hate that, the housemate does it and it realy annoys the crap out of me…i was sitting here nodding all the while as i read this, goddess give her strength.

    1. It’s my shower and l will blow it if l want to, saves on hanky use and clears the sinus in a hot steamy shower, kitten has her own bath and shower and she does what she wants in there.

      1. Sweetie, I don’t think carina was necessarily pointing the finger at you – just people who do it in general. And yes, it’s your shower and you can do what you want in it, but that doesn’t stop it being grosse.

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