I read an interesting little article that was doing the rounds of Fet a while ago but has resurfaced recently. It was essentially a beginners guide to bdsm spelling out how to avoid wanker doms and what to do and not do when playing.
Amongst the ho-hum-not-again talk of safecalls and safewords, there was a section titled, ‘Be worth playing with’. In it subs were instructed to moan, gasp & cry appropriately during play because playing with someone who responds is much more preferable.
But is it?
I’ve always found the overly dramatic people – gasping and moaning at every little single touch- to be actually really, really annoying. Of course, if something is honest-to-god ouchie and they’re screaming their lungs out, that’s fine with me, but for something that is about as painful as getting a corn kernel stuck between your teeth, please don’t gasp & moan until you hyper ventilate.
I like to be one of the quiet, stoic types. It might hurt like a mother-fucker, but I like to keep my noises to myself. I’m also not one of those people who grunts or counts down remaining reps at the gym. I understand instructors like a bit of enthusiasm and I know some people love getting into the spirit of things, but I much prefer to suffer in silence.
Making noises during play feels to me a bit like faking an orgasm. In my time, I’ve faked a LOT of orgasms so I am well-versed in the mechanics of it. In fact, I have 10 years worth of faked orgasms racked up with my ex-husband and a further year’s worth with my first owner. When I became Master’s slave, I made a firm commitment not to fake another again and I never have.
I can understand that when most people play they want some sort of reaction out of the person they are doing nasty things to. I know there is nothing worse than teasing or tormenting someone and not getting any sort of response, I mean, the only reason you are doing it to begin with is to get a reaction, right? And, yes, I have been told that I should make more noises during play otherwise I might be asleep and they wouldn’t know it…lol. Like you’re going to be beating me with a wooden stick and I’ll be sleeping like a baby? Please!
I might be able to manage some sort of noise that sounds suspiciously like, ‘Fuuuck!’, but if you want me to tell you I’ve been a ‘bad girl’, I’m sorry, but I’ll probably laugh in your face.
I’m pretty sure it’s a personal preference about whether you want the person you are playing with to react or not. I’m sure some people like stoic silence and others like a bit of theatrics. I’ve just asked Master sitting here beside me what he prefers and his reply was,
“I like you stock still while I beat your arse and when I’m finished, I like it when you cry.”
Lol. Trust him not to be happy with a bit of a whine or a whimper. Oh wait, he gets that *all the time* so obviously when we play he wants something different.