A slave worth playing with

I read an interesting little article that was doing the rounds of Fet a while ago but has resurfaced recently. It was essentially a beginners guide to bdsm spelling out how to avoid wanker doms and what to do and not do when playing.

 Amongst the ho-hum-not-again talk of safecalls and safewords, there was a section titled, ‘Be worth playing with’. In it subs were instructed to moan, gasp & cry appropriately during play because playing with someone who responds is much more preferable.

But is it?

I’ve always found the overly dramatic people – gasping and moaning at every little single touch- to be actually really, really annoying. Of course, if something is honest-to-god ouchie and they’re screaming their lungs out, that’s fine with me, but for something that is about as painful as getting a corn kernel stuck between your teeth, please don’t gasp & moan until you hyper ventilate.

I like to be one of the quiet, stoic types. It might hurt like a mother-fucker, but I like to keep my noises to myself. I’m also not one of those people who grunts or counts down remaining reps at the gym. I understand instructors like a bit of enthusiasm and I know some people love getting into the spirit of things, but I much prefer to suffer in silence.

Making noises during play feels to me a bit like faking an orgasm. In my time, I’ve faked a LOT of orgasms so I am well-versed in the mechanics of it. In fact, I have 10 years worth of faked orgasms racked up with my ex-husband and a further year’s worth with my first owner. When I became Master’s slave, I made a firm commitment not to fake another again and I never have.

I can understand that when most people play they want some sort of reaction out of the person they are doing nasty things to. I know there is nothing worse than teasing or tormenting someone and not getting any sort of response, I mean, the only reason you are doing it to begin with is to get a reaction, right? And, yes, I have been told that I should make more noises during play otherwise I might be asleep and they wouldn’t know it…lol. Like you’re going to be beating me with a wooden stick and I’ll be sleeping like a baby? Please!

I might be able to manage some sort of noise that sounds suspiciously like,  ‘Fuuuck!’, but if you want me to tell you I’ve been a ‘bad girl’, I’m sorry, but I’ll probably laugh in your face.

I’m pretty sure it’s a personal preference about whether you want the person you are playing with to react or not. I’m sure some people like stoic silence and others like a bit of theatrics. I’ve just asked Master sitting here beside me what he prefers and his reply was,

“I like you stock still while I beat your arse and when I’m finished, I like it when you cry.”

Lol. Trust him not to be happy with a bit of a whine or a whimper. Oh wait, he gets that *all the time* so obviously when we play he wants something different.

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20 thoughts on “A slave worth playing with

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  1. I’m curious, do you have a link where I can view this article? I don’t have a fetlife account so I feel as if I’m missing out on something. I’ve never been one to dive deep into the community, I’ve never been to a play party and this is the first time I’ve had any sort of real sense of community here in the blog world.

    Now there are times when I’m in trouble Master will ask me “what have you been?” which my response is “I’ve been bad, Master” and He’ll ask “what happens when your bad?”…I get punished. While I don’t think this has anything to do with “play” per say…its more a way of reminding me that this IS punishment, He wants me to acknowledge it and understand why I am suffering. To say it out loud to ensure I understand fully.

    I, of course, asked Him what His preference was and His response? “My own” *grumbles* leave it to Him to not give detailed answers lol. I am noisy and my explitives usually involve “FOR FUCKS SAKE THE OTHER CHEEK!!” which He finds amusing to no end…so I guess that answers my own question to Him huh? 😛

      1. I figured I would have to be a member so I created an account…color me curious 😛 Master poked fun saying “wasn’t a certain slave upset when I was browsing a site like that?”

        yeah…but..that was collarme.com which in my eyes might as well be named rapeme.com….I digress lol

        I have fetlife…how do I find you 😛

        1. I’m ‘subtle’ in that place called Perth, Western Australia. You should be able to recognise the cunt shots…lol.

          Friend me!

  2. I do cry and moan and scream. Just because I do. I am very vocal, like my male cat who mumbles deep in his throat as he dreams and then comments every time he jumps down from the bed.

    And as it turns out, my Master really gets off on the sounds of pain. He would NOT like my screams if they were just being performed for his benefit. But he drinks them, he feasts on them, he has at times granted me an orgasm for which I must call his cell phone and leave the sounds of my building arousal and cumming and ensuing sobs as a voice mail which he listens to in the confines of his car.

    So in the end, like everything else with sex and love and sadism and relationships of all stripes, I think it is very very personal.

    1. I’d feel totally ridculous if I had to leave a message with the sounds of my release on it. It’s great that you can do it 🙂

      1. I remember the days when I didn’t have my own phone OR a computer for a little while and I would call Master on payphones (love the phonecards!!) sometimes while sitting in my car using the payphones He would have me to terrible and delicious things to myself! I’m vocal…very!…so He would often have to whisper “Sshhh” which for some reason only turned me on more and made it harder to contain myself with random ppl driving/walking by.

  3. Yes, i do think it’s a personal thing. With my first hs boyfriend, i was so quiet and still, even during the throes of sex. It’s not that i wasn’t enjoying myself, but being a naturally-wired s-type, i was so totally focused on performing well & pleasing him, reading his actions and body language, etc. that it didn’t occur to me to “let go” that much.

    When i did first start trying to move more and make more noises, because he wanted me to, it felt so awkward, i can’t even tell you.

    Now, good luck shutting me up! lol i’ve been in situations where silence (or near to it) is required and i can barely do it. A command of “silence” is as good as bondage for me now; battling the restriction is a serious challenge.

    Now i’m with Daddy and He’s a sadist and we do pain, i’ve pretty much transferred that vocalism to pain sessions, too. But i really doubt anyone would consider me overly dramatic. It’s mostly just the usual whimpers and moans and sighs and the occasional, “Fuck! OW!!!” i’m usually not even aware that i’m making noises unless Daddy brings it to my attention. He says He literally would hate it if i just layed there being quietly stoic and strong, it would take almost all the pleasure out of it for Him.

    1. I guess it is something that you can be conditioned to do and once you’re conditioned, it’s hard to do it any other way.

  4. i have been required to be still and silent and that is a battle for me, my noise is a process function for me, noise and movement help me process the pain through my body.

    overly noisy players annoy me because generally they are making much ado about nothing and im there thinking *suck it up buttercup*.

    i like the way you are, i know when it hurts you due to your utterings because you dont stay totally quiet when we play and when you do i up the ante because i want that reaction from you. quiet = more pain in my mind lol.

  5. Recently I had an issue where I was essentially faking orgasms while I was actually orgasming.

    Like nearly every thing that’s wrong with my life, I blame my mother, though in this case only indirectly. She lives with me due to severe health problems; one of those problems is that her body reacts very badly to stress of any kind; and as a result one of the things she demands of me is to be as silent as possible at all times unless speaking with her. And she’s around the house most of the time due to chronic unemployment. This means if I need physical release (via masturbation), I do it without making any noise whatsoever. Actually, it’s come to the point where my body barely shows any reaction at all, and an observer would probably think that I’m not actually enjoying what I’m doing. (And admittedly, sometimes I don’t, but even a boring release usually helps a bit.)

    Very recently I went to a sex party. I’ve been to a couple of them before, but the whole “eerily silent” thing didn’t go over too well. This time I tried to let loose a little, but it doesn’t seem to have worked quite right. The first time there was a complete disconnect – while there was the moaning and heavy breathing and physical reaction and such to indicate the orgasm I was actually feeling, it was still purely acting – I might as well have been nonchalantly saying something random like “Hello, good sirs, would you like some tea and biscuits?” if it wasn’t for the fact that it would have seemed completely out of place.

    While I am physically male, I tend to think of myself more of as a woman, and one reason (out of a considerable number) is that my normal orgasm is more like a woman’s – a bit less intense, much longer lasting, no ejaculation. Doing it the “male way” (much shorter, a bit more intense, ejaculation included) is a lot harder, and once I do it I can’t sexually function at all for several hours afterward, but I can do it the “female way” several times in a night. So I had ample opportunity to practice while was there. But even so, I don’t think I fully “naturalized” my orgasm display quite yet.

    1. I think there is a certain expectation for noises to be made when you are playing in public. I guess if someone is totally quiet the worried whispers of, “Is he okay?” start making the rounds.

      It’s interesting that you can climax in two different ways. For a long time I used to have a very quiet way of releasing as well. I could do it in bed as I lay next to my sleeping husband and he’d never know. Now I’m a bit noisier and vocal. They both get me to the same place, so either works for me 🙂

  6. I’ve been with people who prefer loud and people who prefer quiet. I tend to be quiet (have actually had to teach myself to be loud for the people who preferred that), but I’m generally quiet most of the time in my day-to-day life anyway.

    I’m not on fetlife so I can’t read the article, but I can see how there would be ways to make yourself attractive to a dom BUT I don’t see how making noise would be a general way to do so. Things like good hygene and acting with respect towards people (I don’t mean genuflexing before anything that calls itself a dom or master, but just general basic vanilla respect) I tend to think would be ways to make yourself attractive to doms. Otherwise it’s all personal preference.

    And I definitely don’t understand faking noises if it’s actually not hurting or how that would make you attractive!

    1. I agree! Good hygiene and generally being nice to people will, I think, get you more places than moaning and gasping will 🙂

      There is a certain market for the noises though. Have you ever seen porn where the chick is totally quiet?

  7. I rather wish I was a suffer in silence sort. I do worry some that, given the diminutive size of our house, I’ll wake the kids by yelling “Ow! Fuck! That HUIRTS! FUCKING STOP!” 😀

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