You may be a bad slave if…

(1) The floor of your bedroom slavecell looks like this:

bedroom floor

(gonzo may be under there somewhere….)

(2) You call your Master, Owner and Deity:

‘Pumpkin’

‘Sweetiepie’

‘Honeybunch’

‘Bitch……………………….owner’

(4) You respond to every request, order or demand from your Master with:

 ‘Why?’

(5) Your idea of getting ‘down and dirty’ involves you planting a herb garden:

herb garden

(6) He tells you his coffee tastes different and you respond with:

‘That’s because I forgot to spit in it…..this time.’

(7) Your snappy response to his question, “What are you?” is:

‘Cold.’

‘Hungry.’

‘In pain.’

‘Are we there yet?’

(8) Your owner washes his own car while you take pictures:

 rangie

(9) People think your collar actually is a necklace.

(10) You leave out number 3 on your list of ten things.

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8 thoughts on “You may be a bad slave if…

Add yours

  1. Numbers 1, 2, 4, 6, and 7 I’m guilty of in varying responses.

    There is no number 3!?!?!

    And at least you have a collar though I think I’d have to add

    number 11.) when you constantly point out, every time the word collar is mentioned, that you still don’t have one *pointed look*

    1. Thanks for the heads up! I’ve ‘added’ number three….

      And you only want a collar when you don’t have one. When you do have one, the only thing you can think about is how much of a pain in the arse it is 🙂

  2. Hah! These are great!

    Sheesh, i got my bottom blistered this weekend for not answering the “What are you?” question with the right *attitude* ~ i even had the response right (in my case, it’s: “Your property, Daddy”) but apparently it came out really snarky. Cuz, um, He asked me in the middle of a heated discussion, so getting all slavey-sexy-breathless just wann’t gonna happen! But apparently i must fake this anyway so He can hear it exactly how He wants to. Masters. :p

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