After consuming a piece of pecan, almond & walnut tart the size of my ass AND scoffing it with cream and ice cream when we went out for dinner last night, I’ve been on such a sugar high that I went to bed at 5am, woke up at 8am and during those insomnia-filled hours around my three-hour ‘nap’, I managed to go back through almost all the archives of the FAIL blog, This is why you’re fat and Why the F**k* do you have a kid? (damn you aag for making me look at these cesspools of humanity!)
Then, needing even more entertainment for my sugar-fueled brain, I had a look through this week’s search terms on my blog, and oh-my-lord…I’m actually lost for words:
is fingering myself in the bum ok – yes, but make sure you remember to wash your hands afterwards. There’s simply no excuse for bad hygiene.
window ball gag nipple clamp police too – I’m trying to figure out if the police want in on the nipple clamp action too or whether they’re just there to clamp your car because you’ve been enjoying window ball gag and nipple in a no-loading zone.
naked chef – sorry Jamie.
bdsm execution by flogging stories – killing your play partners is just bad form, ya’know?
sex slave girls being torched and pussy –I think the smell of burning flesh might put a dampener on things.
how to manage life without fuck – the simple answer? You can’t. It’s been proven by the clergy.
From the number of people looking for the answer to ‘how can I fuck myself?‘ the lack of a partner appears not to be a valid reason to abstain, so go forth and fuck.
slavegirl under 15 movie – Hello Mr Pedophile!
cheez whiz australia importation – FAIL.