I’m busy cleaning for our house guests tomorrow (10 lovely friends for brunch and I’m hoping none of them lick me…) so here’s the most interesting search terms that have helped people find my blog this week to keep you amused until I write a real post:
crickets in pussy – I don’t think they make a cream for that…
im a grown woman and i cant stop pooing – I’m jealous. I poo maybe once every 2 or 3 days…if I’m lucky. What’s interesting about this one though, is that I’ve had multiple searches for it! WTF??!!
how much was a 16 year old slave worth – ummm…20-25 years in a cell with a man called “Butch”?
“my owner is” fuck – I’m trying to guess what the rest of this sentence is. My owner is fucking mean? My owner is fucked up? My owner is fucking my ass with an eggplant..FUUUUUCK!?
buying a real hard bdsm slave girl – Personally, if i had the choice, I’d choose one that’s a bit riper or one that isn’t so difficult.
anal fainting – I could be wrong, but I don’t think your anal passage has a consciousness to lose.
bums 2 fuck – is that next to Toys R Us and Boys 2 Bang?
how to fuck myself if im a boy – I think you should actually know how to do that, but if you can’t figure it out, get yourself an owner and hand them a list of things you hate, things you’re scared of and things you don’t want to do – then you’ll be well and truly fucked.
subtle bdsm armpit – are you specifically looking for my armpit, because at the moment, my armpit is no-where near being ‘subtle’, in fact, the hair is long enough to be in-your-face-ish, or will just any ‘subtle’ armpit do?
slavegirl+worms – as long as they’re not in the slave gruel or being inserted into the pussy ala the crickets, they’re fine.
bad slave rules – might I suggest spitting in any food served and permanently hiding the toys?