I think there are a few defining moments in everyone’s life and in the life of a slavegirl there are also moments which are indelibly marked on your memory as being instrumental in changing you forever. In my case, the moments are not necessarily the ouchiest ones but most of them are ‘firsts’ and they are all things that I feel have ‘chipped away’ at me, slowly but surely reducing me, crafting me into something new and different.
Unfortunately, most of my ‘firsts’ were with my first owner. My first beating, my first anal play, breath-play, bondage, wax-play, knife-play, piss-drinking, piss-play, you name it, just about all those things on every slave’s ‘to do’ list, I experienced with him. I’m a bit sad actually that I lost most of my ‘slave virginity’ with someone whom I failed to make an emotional connection with. In hindsight, I wish I could of given Master the pleasure of being the first person to do all those things to me, but what’s done is done and at the time I was hoping that my owner would become my Master but, of course he didn’t.
So without further ado, I present my Chipping List:
1. First bruise-inducing caning: It was the first time I’d watched the ‘Story of O’ and afterwards I was made to lean over the back of the couch and he caned my ass. Up until that point I’d had a bit of light flogging and some cat-o-nine-tails action, but nothing heavy. I ended up with several amazing bruises that I, of course, gushed over for days and immediately posted to my profile in alt.com.
2. Being stripped naked, dragged out to the backyard on a leash, pissed all over, made to crawl to the car and sitting naked and dripping with piss as he drove through town intending to take me to the dog pound and lock me up in one of their cages: Yeah….it was just hot. I still get squishy thinking about how base I was made to feel that night. I was laying stretched out over a rock in the garden and he quite literally pissed all over me, in my hair, in my mouth and then we were driving through town with me in the passenger seat cringing as we passed under each street light. Once we reached the pound, we discovered they’d blocked off the dis-used cages we were hoping to utilize, but even without the cage experience, it was still memorable.
3. Piercing Parts I & II: I’m totally blown away by the fact that I *knew* how much it hurt after my first 3 piercings and then 4 weeks later submitted to going back for the remaining 4 piercings to be done. I really don’t know how I did that. I was pierced with 12 gauge needles and then had 10 gauge rings inserted. For someone who only had ever had her ears pierced (with a piercing gun in a hair salon in the good ol’ days when that’s how you got things pierced), it was a HUGE shock to the system to get those kind of piercings.
4. First nakedness in public: God, I still cringe when I think about this. I was nearly in tears when I realised that I really *was* going to be made naked in public and that it wasn’t a mind-fuck. Not only was I made to strip, but then I was led around on a leash in a house-full of people I didn’t know. Embarrassment factor=200%
5. Public sex toy insertion: I shouldn’t really have been bothered by this because I was an old hand at public play by this time, but for some reason I was just utterly and totally *mortified* by the whole thing. I had a huge crying session when we got home from the party and I remember telling Master that I felt like I’d been ‘raped’. I moaned about it for days afterwards and was soooo angry. It was nothing in the scheme of things and I have no idea why I reacted the way I did, but it obvisouly had some sort of impact on me.
6. Slave tattoo: I guess once you get “slave” tattooed on your butt (even if it is in Japanese) there ain’t no going back.
7. Begging for my collar back: Master took my collar off at one stage after I had a huge break-down early in our relationship because I had said to him that I didn’t think I could ‘do it’ anymore. He said he didn’t want to force me to be a slave and that it was my choice. I spent exactly 12 hrs with it off before I knew I’d made a mistake. I was kneeling on the floor at the front door when he came home from work and I asked for it back. He threw the collar on the floor where I was kneeling and said I needed to beg for it back. So I did and he put it back on.
Originally my collar was only going to be a ‘put-on-for-play’ type of deal, but Master enjoyed the look of it so much that once he put it on me, he decided I’d wear it all the time. I had a ‘this-wasn’t-in-the-contract!’ moment and I think that’s what lead to my break-down – I felt so totally out of control.
8. Overnight in my cage: My strongest memory of this is that I was so angry at being left in my cage all night. After about two hours, things started to go numb and I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I had to wait until Master woke before he let me out and it was pure torture.
9: Mystery shopper use: It’s hard to describe the butterflies when you’re naked, bound and hooded waiting for a random person to come and do whatever they want to you.
10: Those things that only your Master can do: Like when he uses your hair as a leash and leads you through the supermarket carpark or when you’re at the checkout after paying for groceries and he gets his change and then holds a two dollar coin above your head like he’s giving a treat to a dog and says, ‘Beg for it!’ and he keeps doing it while everyone in the immediate vicinity is staring, horrified at you. Or when you’ve just served brunch to 10 people and everyone is sitting around the computer after looking at holiday snaps and then he starts a slideshow containing pics of your cunt, ass and boobs.
Ahhh…memories. I’m sure there are more moments that were instrumental in making me who I am today, but that’s enough emotional trauma for the moment I think…lol.