Tickle me emo

Well, I finally succumbed and finally watched Twilight last night. Now that most of the hype has settled down and with the second movie release on the horizon, I thought it finally would be safe. But just for the record, let me stipulate that I didn’t in any way pay to see it, because, well, I would be embarrassed to pay for something so obviously aimed at the Hannah Montana-loving audience. Yes, I know plenty of people my age and older who watched it and gushed about it and to be honest, I’m stunned.

I felt like I was watching an afterschool special and by the end I swore that if there was one more angst-ridden stare into the camera with tumultuous music in the background, I was going scream. I was also pretty positive that Edward’s hair was getting higher and higher the longer the movie continued and by the end I was pondering how they were keeping it there – were they paying a midget to hide on his head and hold it up? Obviously, I was thinking about this stuff just to distract me from screaming at the emo-ness of it all.

Ahhh…young love and teenage angst. It made me want to puke. Nearing-middle-age bitterness anyone?? Lol.

One thing I did get out of the movie though,  was a reminder of emo-ness and how there once was a time when I wrote bad poetry and thought that I would die if Master was a few minutes late for our 8pm msn chat session. If I’d seen Twilight 4 years ago in the height of my emo period when I was having ‘out of body experiences’ about my calling to be a slave and sticking forks into my heels to prove my submission, I really would of been in emo heaven (well, I didn’t really do the fork thing, but I thought it’s been such a long time since we had a fork joke…)

I kind of miss that emo-ness, the broodiness, the passion where you’ve got to have something or you think you really will die. I guess somewhere along the line I grew up and grew out of my emo phase, learned some patience and all about delayed gratification and put my Evanescence cds away. Once I’d done that, the superficial intensity didn’t seem so important anymore, but the happiness and contentment on a different level did.

Oh and in case you were wondering, I’ve mostly finished shaving the poodle. Tomorrow I might see if he will cooperate enough for me to run the clippers over him once more to even-up his coat, but for the time being he’s gone from hear me roar lion/yeti:

I'm a lion hear me roar

To sullen sphinx with a hint of goat:

 meek and mild

Is that my yeti outfit in those bags?

with yeti outfit

Anyone in the northern hemisphere need poodle wool for a scarf?


11 thoughts on “Tickle me emo

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    1. He keeps looking at me mournfully like I’ve done something terrible to him. I’m sure he actually does feel better for the loss of hair though – even though he doesn’t want to admit it.

      And yes, his legs are ridiculously long. I’m guessing that’s his show dog genes.

  1. Poor doggy. Next you need to show how you can fashion an entire second dog from the leftover wool!

    I didn’t like Twilight the movie or the books following the first, but I can see the appeal. Master is only just now reading the series, which is actually a first for him since he refuses to read Harry Potter until he has kids he can read them to.

    1. I’m proud to say I haven’t read any of the Harry books and I’ve only seen the first movie!!

      I’m wondering whether the books are better than the movie…but then again ther is so much more scope for emo-ness in the written word 🙂

  2. The only time I miss all that emo crack is when I’m bored. And five seconds after I think to myself, wistfully, “Those days are so gone now…sniff” I remember why I am so incredibly grateful they’re gone: MAN that was exhausting. Who wants to live on that kind of emotional high all the time? I don’t need to be anguished to be happy I’m alive and in love.

    Not to mention, Twilight creeps me out with its bizarreness. Um, vegetarian vampires? Where’s the fun in that? And hello, weird purity metaphors!

    Yuck. I’m glad you didn’t like it either!

    Seeker, now returning to lurking

    1. I’m grateful for the de-lurk 🙂

      I’m still trying to figure out why I thought being anguished was so hot….maybe it is as you call it ’emo crack’ and you get a dependency for it.

      I’m an unabashed fan of True Blood (although it sometimes gets a bit too emo for me and I have to go and make a cup of coffee or something and then wander back to the tv after the embarrassing stuff is finished) and I sat through the movie thinking that they do it so much better on TB. I couldn’t help but compare….and look at Edward’s hair.

  3. My grandparents used to have a standard poodle and they really are a bitch to keep groomed, aren’t they? Does he have the Geriatric Poodle Stinkbreath Of Doom yet? That’s a truly special smell.

    Thanks for the movie review. You have reaffirmed my decision to stay well clear of Mormon Pre-Teen Girl Masturbation Fantasy: The Flim. I was starting to waver for a moment, so I appreciate the help in staying strong.

    Oh, and you’re not a twue slave unless you cheerfully let your Master waterboard you, since you only live to please him. 😛

    1. Yes, stay well clear…well clear of the Twihard phenomenon.

      I’m glad you mentioned the most important fact of needing to be ‘cheerful’ while being waterboarded. Some not-so-twue slaves just submit to the waterboarding and don’t maintain an expression of mirthful joy throughout. Shame on them!!

  4. PMSL @ Edward’s hair. I want to get the movie out now just to see that.

    OMG poodle pup has THE longest legs ever! You sure he’s not part giraffe?

    1. Yeah, you have to get the movie out if for nothing more than staring at his hair through-out. I swear, it’s got a life of its own.

      He does have really, really long legs. It’s insane actually. I think that’s why he’s so goofy-looking.

  5. He is actually a top pedigree puppy saved from a life of show dogs and breeding stud as a puppy at 6 months he had a couple flecks of red hair in on his flank and on his ears and to be the top show dog the breeder wanted he had to be all white, as he got older the red hair disappeared and he had had the pampered life of house pet ever since.

    As for stinky breath he has never suffered from it, must be his diet and dental care and as for his coat over the years he normally get stripped back to nakedness once every 12 to 18 months and allowed to grow back out again and his coat never been brushed out as it should have been on a daily weekly basis if he had been a show pony

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