Work/life/slavery balance

During a lull in work yesterday my boss asked me how my work-life balance was going. I don’t know whether it’s as much of a trendy concept outside of Japan, but all you read about in the Japanese media are stories about how to perfect your work/life balance and things to do to enrich your life out of work (I’m guessing it’s such a big thing in Japan because people have reached a point where they are beginning to think that they don’t need to die at work at that there is life beyond it that could be enjoyed.)

At the moment I work 3 days a week and have four days off. It’s the least amount I have worked for such an extended period in my life and I’m loving it. I work just enough that I look forward to my weekends, and I have just a long enough weekend that I look forward to going back to work. It’s the perfect balance and allows me to get my head into slave space when I need to.

I’ve done the working full-time and trying to be a slave thing on several occasions and it just does not work at all for me. After giving my all to my job during the week, on the weekends all I wanted was some ‘me time’. I didn’t want to be his fetch, carry & cleaning bitch and I resented having to spend what little ‘free time’ I had not being ‘free’ at all.

The only down side to my current perfect work/life/slavery balance is that I earn about 1/3 of what I would be making if I were full-time and as a result, in order for me to continue to live like this, we need another income coming in. And with the economic situation the way it is, things are looking tough.

I realise that I’m exceptionally lucky to have the lifestyle I lead now and I know with surety that it cannot continue for any extended period of time.  People just don’t get it as good as I have it now, and it’s un-natural. That’s why I’m grateful for every day I have and also why I surreptitiously look for a full-time job every chance I get. Sooner or later, I’ll need to work like everyone else and go back to being an even shittier slave than I am now and it will probably need to be sooner rather than later.

On the weekend we caught up with another kinky couple who are going through a bit of a rough patch as the dom has lost his job and there are serious family tensions. The serious family tensions have been continuing ever since the relationship started, so that’s nothing new, but the dom being out of work has just ramped the stress they are both experiencing up to a new level.

He is irritated that the tables have been turned and now he is dependent on his sub for roof over his head and food in his tummy. She is irritated that she’s working her butt off and he’s home all day and doesn’t lift a finger to help around the house. 

He never has been one to help with any of the housework since the relationship started and she used to be okay with that. She would get up an hour earlier than she needed to get him breakfast and put his socks on and she’d go to work, then she’d come home from work and get dinner ready and do the cleaning. He does nothing more and nothing less than he used to do, but all of a sudden his lack of participation in housework is driving her crazy.

In terms of money, even when he was working she was earning enough herself to pay the bills. When he was working too they lived a little more comfortably perhaps, but now with just one income she can still pay the rent and buy the groceries. She also said that he has stopped showing affection towards her and that they are fighting constantly. He is stressed, she is stressed and both of them are just one step away from calling it quits.

The only new variable in their relationship is the fact that he isn’t working and she is.

Interesting, isn’t it?

Listening to her vent on the weekend, I could hear her thoughts behind her words clear as day,

“He’s the man, he’s supposed to be working!”

I wonder how many men have a dream of having a harem of slaves to do their cooking, cleaning and go out to work for them? I wonder how doms feel that their slaves are the ones who should be going out to work instead of them? I wonder how many couples have reversed the traditional bread-winner roles and still manage to make it work against all the pressures of society that say that the man is the one who earns the most money?

I have to admit that I have a traditional view of things and I’m the most comfortable when I’m being ‘kept’ by a man. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t do what’s necessary when the situation demands it. As I’ve said, I wouldn’t be happy about going back to full-time work, but seriously, who ever is happy about their work? I’ve got a feeling that only 0.0001% of the population truly loves what they do as an occupation and the other 99.9999% just do what they have to do to pay the bills. So like the majority of the population, I will do what needs to be done whether it be flipping burgers at McDonalds or scanning groceries as a check-out chick.

I’m not stressed by Master being out of work. I know he’s trying his best to find a new job and as I’ve said, I knew my fantasy bubble of a perfect work/life balance would have to burst at some time – it wasn’t a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’. I can’t earn as much as Master can, but I can probably make enough to keep a roof over our heads and possibly food on the table – although that food might be tins of baked beans.

I’m thankful for his contribution to the housework (both when he is working and while he’s at home) and for letting me live the dream for as long as I have.


8 thoughts on “Work/life/slavery balance

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    1. Balance is pretty elusive when you’re juggling so much though. It’s a very fine line for me between not having enough to do and having too much and that’s often what makes me feel like everything has to be ‘perfect’ before I can get ‘in the mood’.

      Kids full-time with nowhere to escape to would drive me insane….in about 2 days.

  1. Bleh. I hate thinking about this stuff. I also have a mother who is in that 0.0001% of people. She has her dream job, she loves loves loves it, and she is stupidly wealthy because of that job. Sometimes (to irritate me, I think), when I’m gaping over the sick loft she’s rented for the hell of it, or trying to get myself invited to Hawaii or Mexico or wherever she feels like living for a few months whenever she wants, she’ll say things like, “You know what you should do? Be rich! It’s really great.”

    She’s a love, and she’s never condescending about it, just joking, and she does things like randomly say, “Honey, why don’t I put $20,000 toward your student loans today?” but… STILL. I want her life so often.

    Maybe I should steal it. Stealing is okay, right? Right.


    1. I hate people like that too. And I don’t understand how people can get so much money? Am I just unlucky or simply in the wrong place at the wrong time?

      And yes, I think stealing is okay…or maybe ‘borrowing’ would be a better way to put it 😉

  2. It shames me to say this is what broke Master and I up a little over a year ago. I was going to school, working, and being a slave, while he was doing none of the above. He was being a Master, and he didn’t have to work at the time because he got a settlement check from a wrongful death suit. It wasn’t so much that I thought he should be working and me not, rather I felt like I was shouldering everything and he had little to no intention of helping bear that weight. one day I threw all of it off and we were apart for four hellish months. Turns out being Atlas was a hard limit that I didn’t know I had.

    These days Master works, as do I, and he does some things around the house (namely icky things I would rather grate my skin off than do). I am collared, but we’ve struck a balance that keep such harmony we really couldn’t argue it.

    1. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Isn’t financial stuff the biggest killer of relationships -both nilla and otherwise? I think it was a big factor in my first M/s experience being a failure too. He was just bone-ass lazy and I felt like Atlas all the time. It wasn’t what I signed up for.

      I’m glad you both manged to strike a balance and are comfortable now.

  3. Ooh yeah, I want a harem, though not primarily for financial reasons. But there are financial benefits to that which I have considered. Communal living is cheaper, so everyone would only need to work part-time, and those who can’t find work can help out in ways that save the rest of the group time & money. And it’s theoretically easier to deal with group issues when there’s a single master/mistress meditating things and calling all the shots. If nothing else it would be a huge improvement over my current situation, in which I am the sole source of income and primary source of housework for both myself and my mother, and her health expenses are really high.

    1. I can understand the attraction of communal life too. Actually I think polygamy has its good points 😉

      Doing things by yourself is definitely tough. You’re doing a wonderful job with your mum.

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