Ever since I started my new slave-kick (like a health-kick but with less bran), the butt has been appearing on the menu more and more. I have a truly deep love/hate relationship with the butt and while 70% of my private porn collection is made-up of insanely limber chicks having their asses totally rammed, there are days when the mere thought of putting something up my own ass just makes me want to cry.
To be honest, I’ve never really understood the attraction of butt plugs – either for the inserter or the insertee and I’ve blogged about it on many occasions (in an attempt to have someone explain it to me, but unfortunately I’m still waiting…) I mean, what is there to get out of a big lump of latex or silicon just sitting there? So my complete lack of understanding about what makes them hawt makes it difficult for me to get excited when Master makes the fateful order:
“Go put in the ___(insert size here)___ butt plug.”
But of course, since I’m a new-and-improved slave, instead of ignoring him laughing it off and going to watch tv, I dutifully lube up and insert the sucker and try to clench to hold the damn thing in. It generally doesn’t take anything more than a stiff breeze for it to fall out though and Master keeps saying he wants a harness for me to keep it in. I think we’ve passed two christmases and three birthdays without me buying one as a present for him though, so I’m sure you can see how excited I am about the prospect of my butt-plug not being able to fall out.
Now we’re going to move into the ‘possibly TMI territory’…
In my pre-slave days, I wasn’t very aware of all my holes and their positions and all that jazz. I’d never really looked at myself down there and while I always followed the sound advice of wiping ‘front to back’ I would of found it difficult to direct a guy if he got lost down there. I don’t think I would of ever, ever, ever considered buttsecks as something that nice, married girls do and I can still remember the day when I discovered how close my vagina and anus actually were. For some reason I’d thought my butt hole was a lot further away than it actually was and I discovered that when I’d been watching what I thought was vaginal sex, the sex was actually taking place in a very different location.
I know, I know. How naive was I? But you’ve got to remember I’m a small-town country girl who went to Sunday school and I grew up thinking I wanted to save my first kiss for ‘someone special’. I wasn’t born the slut, slave, ho bitch I am today 🙂
So anyway, several long, hard months of daily enemas practically cured my lack of direction in my nether region overnight and I now spend a lot of time down there removing hair, lubing and inserting butt plugs so I’m very familiar with the area.
(I could give you a little bit TMI here and tell you that I’ve named my hemorrhoid who likes to pop his head out every now and then, “Tom”, but I won’t, because that just makes me sound like I’m insane.)
Master also has this dream of me serving him a can of beer or soft drink by squeezing it out of my ass. He has seen it done and constantly comments to me that if I was any sort of ‘real slave’ that’s what I’d be able to do. I’m sure it’s a matter of practise makes perfect, but the question is, do you want to drink something that has been up someone’s ass, even if it was in a can???
Along with butt plugs and butt cans, Master also has this thing about me licking his ass. I’m not talking tuckus lingus, I’m talking licking his butt cheeks. Why? I dunno. Out of the blue he will shout out to me,
“Come lick my butt bitch!”
So, of course, being the new and improved slave I am, I go and lick his butt. While I’m not a big fan of licking, I can manage to get over my aversion to licking someone much easier than I can my aversion to being licked so I manage.
So that’s my life at the moment – butt licking and butt plugs. Like everyone I have my good butt days – where it can actually start to feel good, and my bad butt days – where nothing I do makes it feel anything but ouchie and uncomfortable, but I dunno, I think if I understood the attraction more I’d have fewer bad butt days.