Way back in the mists of time, I had a ‘thing’ about collars. The mere thought of having something around my neck symbolizing that I was ‘owned’ was positively intoxicating to me and I whiled away many hours dreaming of the smell of leather and the jangle of a leash.
I can remember once trying on our family dog’s collar and leash when I was a teenager. Unfortunately,the collar didn’t stay on too long owing to the fact that our dog was a terrier and I’m not really into self-asphyxiation.
The first collar I bought was from the 100yen shop in Japan. At the time, I was having some sort of on-line thing with a guy from Canada that I met on literotica.com and he wanted pictures of me. Being the obliging sort of person I was (a.k.a. a sucker) I promptly went out and bought a collar and sent him some pics of me in compromising positions. He then disappeared without a trace a few days later, but that’s a story for another time.
My first ‘real collar’ was a metal collar similar to what I wear now. My first owner had me measure my neck and buy it myself. It was delivered and waiting for me when I arrived at the house I had rented for us and incidentally, that was also when I met him for the first time. The collar was put on with a fair amount of swearing and grunting – being that you had to pull the collar apart enough to fit the removable piece in it and then lock it in with the allen key. I didn’t start out with an ‘o’ ring on it, but I purchased one for his birthday and once again there was much swearing and grunting as we tried to get it on.
Master bought me my current collar with hinges and a locking allen key and it arrived a few weeks after I did. Other than the slightly annoying habit of the screw to work itself out and dig into my neck every couple of months, it’s much easier to get on and off. I tie up the ‘o’ ring with hairbands when I go to the gym to stop it jangling so much and generally speaking, hardly anyone notices it.
Actually the collar around my neck is not my permanent collar and it has come off a couple of times during the years I’ve been Master – once after a meltdown a couple of years back and once so I could wear something else around my neck for a change. My neck collar wasn’t originally intended to stay on all the time and it was only after he saw it on me that he liked it so much he decided he wanted it on all the time.
My permanent collar (a.k.a. my clithood piercing) was attached two days after I arrived here and hasn’t come off at all since then. It was always intended to be my permanent collar and was part of Master’s ‘my way or the highway’ plan of things I had to submit to if I wanted to be his slave. The placement had a certain significance in that he was ‘collaring my sexuality’ as it were, and by submitting to the collaring, I was giving over control over one of my most intimate and private parts.
My collars have tended to go on very early in my relationships. For one reason or another, I’ve never been required to jump through hoops in order to have the ‘honour’ of wearing someone’s collar and the collar has always gone on with very little ceremony. In fact, the only explanation I can give about why they went on so quickly, is that my owners have probably always known what I am. They’ve not always necessarily known what to do with me, but they’ve recognised me as a slave.
I don’t have the same collar fever that I used to have because now I’m a little more secure about what I am inside. While a ceremony or symbol is nice in theory, it doesn’t change who or what you are. Six years ago my marriage ceremony didn’t magically turn me into wife and mother material and if I’d realised that beforehand I could have saved myself $50,000! And today, even without the hunk of metal around my neck or the piercing through my clithood, I’m a slave. Submitting to the piercing or putting the collar around my neck didn’t make me a slave, and at the end of the day, they’re just pretty decorations.
I’m sure some people would argue, however, that I got my collars too quickly and without ‘proving’ my submission, but I am what I am and no amount of time or ceremony will change that.