The one with the shiny thing has the biggest cup?

On Valentine’s Day, I’d like to officially announce to the world that I love Master.

Yes, I’m well and truly head-over-heels in love with him.

So in love in fact, that he makes me giddy with intoxication and the mere thought of being without him gives me chills.

Because he buys me Starbucks beans and shoes πŸ™‚


(You didn’t think suddenly I’d gone all soft and wishy-washy did you?? Pfffftttt!)

He came back from his trip to Melbourne laden down with three bags of house blend beans in one of the Starbucks funky paper bags. I ,of course, immediately felt the need to take a photo of my babies:

We’ve been enjoying a Starbucks cappuccino every morning since then and the morning of Valentine’s day was no exception. I made him his coffee first (as I always do) and then made myself one and sat down at my computer to read the morning papers and munch on my crumpets:

Then he had the audacity to question why his coffee was only half the size of mine like I’d done something wrong! Surely he knows that the she-who-wears-the-shiny-thing-gets-the-smallest-serve rule is automatically superceded by the she-who-makes-the-coffee-gets-the-biggest-cup rule?

Shesh, I thought everyone knew that…

On Friday we went to the outlet shopping place and I was determined to purchase some shoes. I’ve been wanting to get some ‘nice’ – and by nice I mean suitably slutty – sandals because sweating in your boots in summer is just not sexy. I always have major problems buying shoes because I have really wide – and by really wide I mean fat – feet and sexy shoes are always tiny, narrow things that require the services of feet-binding professionals of medieval China.

Normally having Master standing there in the shop with me wearing his best, Are you fucking done yet bitch? look on his face makes spending the necessary time to find great shoes that fit an impossibility, but this time he amused himself by taking endless photos of me trying on the shoes so it distracted him long enough that I managed to find three pairs of sandals that fell within my frugal shoe price-range and magically also fit! Yay!

I got all three pairs for $97 so I was quite happy considering that the original prices were over $100 for each pair.

They’ve all got the requisite 4″plus stiletto heels that make me shuffle along like I’ve got something shoved up my ass, so next to me wearing boots, nothing makes Master happier.


10 thoughts on “The one with the shiny thing has the biggest cup?

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  1. Oooh, I quite like the buckly pair on the end.

    I also have wide feet. And by wide, while I do mean some fat, I also mean fucking W-I-D-E. Like, when I was a kid Mom had to take me the the one specialty place in the city that carried shoes in my width. I grew up in a fair-sized city, too.

    As an adult, the stupid things are just as wide, but they’re also just plain big. Long, yanno. And fat.


    1. The buckly pair on the end are my favourite (and Master’s least favourite) too!

      I hate having select parts of me WIDE – ass, feet…But come to think of it, don’t think I’ve ever heard someone complaining that their feet or ass were too narrow.

  2. Hot stuff! I’m a shoe-freak.

    I have wider feet, though all of my work shoes are Pleasers and Ellies (which I believe you have some boots from). I have huge feet for someone my size. American size 9.5, and wide to boot, no pun intended. Shoe shopping is tough, and even if I buy something I like, there is a high likelihood that the width of my feet will cause my toes to pinch at some point. It sucks.

  3. i like the ones with the wooden heels. i was never very into shoes until about a year or so ago and i still don’t do skinny heels much. i am lucky though…i only wear 6.5 or 7….but i have weird toes so finding sandals that don’t hurt my little toe can take FOREVER….Congratulations on the shoe bargin…feels great i know…

    1. The ones with the wooden heels are just so ‘hookerish’, aren’t they? I think the red sole also helps.

      I always find getting new shoes to be such a painful experience. I hate the wearing-in stage and the blisters and everything else until you get your shoes to a comfy state. I find it all so traumatic that I rarely buy shoes and when I get a pair I like, I wear them until they fall apart.

      1. i have taken to keeping band-aids in my desk for the blister issue. i love the look of “hooker” heels but i don’t feel to graceful in them. More like a hippo in toe shoes. Master has yet to see me really dressed to kill…i have a feeling He would find it amusing to see me teetering in high high heels.

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