Have you cleaned your gonzo lately?

I’d like to say that I had to clean my gonzo because it was just so cum-soaked and messy after a flood of orgasms courtesy of my hitachi that I had no other choice but to clean it, but alas, I can’t. Instead, I’ll let you know that I cleaned my gonzo because I finally found it under a pile of crap in my room.

And it was covered in dust.

That’s how long it’s been since I have gotten off.

Remember gonzo?

I’m in a release drought courtesy of mr meanie Master and I’m sure that after reading this post about me bitching about my release drought, it will continue for a long time yet.

The drought that never ends…

I’d like to mention at this point that I’m slap-bang in the middle of red plague week and therefore I’M HORNY. I don’t know what sick, twisted mind decided that the one and only time blood and assorted bodily secretions are spilling forth from your cunt should be the time that you are so horny you would hump a houseplant, but all I know is that’s how it is with me.

Sometimes. Not all the time. But definitely now.

I suppose it’s not all that long in the scheme of things since I had a release. Looking at the chart on the fridge, the last one I had was February 6th. For me it’s not that long…I’ve had droughts of 4+months in the past…but have I mentioned I’m HORNY?!?

I’m bloody and horny…


(P.S And is it just me or does this look like a drunk blog post?)

(P.PS And no, links to really hawt porn in the comments section won’t help my predicament so don’t even think about it, kthx!)

6 thoughts on “Have you cleaned your gonzo lately?

Add yours

    1. Well, I’m guessing I won’t get anything in Japan so that’s at least another two weeks and probably he’ll be amused by the drought for a while longer after that and yeah…who knows…

      I think it really needs to be a warning on the side of the slavery box:

      “Warning: You may not have an orgasm, ever…again.”

  1. ZOMG, I would not do well with a drought that long!!! I bitch because sometimes I go a few DAYS without release.

    I am so spoiled, lol

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